Further investigation reveals that Weasel Boss and LA Boss were in conference with a Partner in Labor Law about my termination.

I don't know if that means they're worried about an age discrimination suit from me, or if they're trying to do an extra-weasel end-run and find a way to deny me unemployment.

Probably the former, but it adds to the paranoia. Wheeee!!! I need a martini.

I know from our own policies that they've done a very shitty job of setting this up. I've had no negative performance reviews or documented ill-behavior that they can point to. They haven't created the necessary paper trail they'd normally do for ass-coverage.

Fuck, man. Just give me a couple months severance and I'll walk away happy.

Are you just too expensive or something? You sound like such a model employee - I don't get why they are firing you to begin with. With such a giant plan in advance of the deed itself, you'd think you were some toxic employee or something similar.

I've been here 3 years and was given 4 weeks' "severance". I put it in quotes because I found out that it's dependent on being unemployed. That is, if you find a job 2 weeks out, the severance stops. Which isn't really a severance, by my definition. But people I know have been saying "At least you got a decent severance". When I was laid off from CNET, I got 7 months. I don't know what normal severance is supposed to be.

I hope they wise up and give you one, though. Nothing so fun as a legal firm acting unlawfully. And I'm pretty sure they must be.

Are you just too expensive or something?

Not really. I'm underpaid for the market, but they did bring in the new (very young, just out of college) coworker at a lower rate.

You sound like such a model employee

I'm definitely not that, but I do have value. I know much more about our systems than anybody else in the office and how things need to be processed. That's what started the whole thing, in a way. They had to use me to do the personnel action to set up the temp with my job title. Because they don't know how to do it. Ditto, on me having to calculate my vacation balance. They don't know how to do it.

They could have somebody from another office do it, and they'll learn eventually, but it is telling that most of my clues came from the fact that they're all so inept and ignorant of our firm's protocols.

I don't get why they are firing you to begin with.

I'm really curious (and at times paranoid) about what they're going to say. Because there's no precipitating event. There's nothing I've gotten a talking to about. There's no malfeasance or misconduct that I've committed. I'm just not the person that LA Boss wants in this job in this office. I think.

I hope they wise up and give you one, though.

I've heard it'll only be "two weeks in lieu of notice." Possibly four weeks since I'm over 40.

I'm not, in any way, saying that I agree with what your boss did, Hec. And I definitely think the line about looking you in the eye and swearing she doesn't know anything is absolutely, undeniably rude and wrong. As others have said, there are more decent ways to go about abiding by The Rules.

It's just... I've been in her situation and I've done the "I'm not able to discuss this with you. I'm very sorry." line and it bit me in the ass. Hard. I thought I knew how the person would handle the situation and I was wrong. And I was punished for it.

Anyway, enough about that. Bottom line is that I hope something ten times better lands in your lap and in no time at all you're grateful that the asshat company let you go. Even though they could've done it in a more decent way.

Are you just too expensive or something?

This was my question too. I mean, really the cost of hiring and training a new employee is pretty high not to mention the ramp up, learning curve, etc versus a seasoned employee who knows the in's and out's. I think they have a right to worry about wrongful termination/age discrimination lawsuit since there's no clear reason to fire you. (Oh and your ex-Good Boss was totally sucky - she didn't need to lie straight to your face. That's just bad behavior)

Also? This whole situation sucks donkey ass!

I'm not, in any way, saying that I agree with what your boss did, Hec.

I know that, Nicole.

It's just... I've been in her situation and I've done the "I'm not able to discuss this with you. I'm very sorry." line and it bit me in the ass.

I'm in HR, I know the score. But in this instance, it also means I know there are much more professional ways to do this.

Fuck, brain-damaged gibbons could be more professional than they are.

::wishes his boss was a brain damaged gibbon to test this theory::

Hec, I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. Your employers are evil fuckwads. You deserve better than this and I hope you find a new, better job and can tell them to EAT IT.

wishes his boss was a brain damaged gibbon to test this theory

I believe the gibbons are our future / Teach them well, and let them lead the way