I am watching Profit.

I remember watching this when it first aired and being boggled.

The pit that was my office? Stuff piled for EVER? Sorted, shredded and filed. Totally.

Woo Hoo!!! You rock!

Of your Tums options, berry flavored ARE the best.

I am a fucking rock god.

You so are.

Dessert is berry-flavored Tums. Kill me now?

AAAHHH!

Of your Tums options, berry flavored ARE the best.

Those are like the definiton of vile. You are craxy.

Oh! Hilary told me something to tell you and I'm too drunk to remember.

But she did reenact a certain rant...

Oh! I must share this with you all because it cracked me the hell up. I was browsing Amazon.com in order to buy a "Dick and Jane" treasury (I'm about to start teaching The Bluest Eye in my African American Lit class, and the Dick and Jane context is essential for the students to understand). In the process, I found this: Yiddish with Dick and Jane

Yes, you read that right. I totally ordered it.

Brenda is mad mad mad as a hatter.

Well, a particular hatter. Not all hatters are proported to be mad, are they?

His temp was at around 87 degrees, no bowel sounds, no results from two enemas, thready pulse.

I'm sure it's awful, but the thing I immediately went to was "He was cold and sick so you gave him ENEMAS??"

Flirting can be so fun/energizing, but discovering that it's a habit...rather than a statement...for someone is so disappointing. Makes me wanna spit when I hear the phrase "don't hate the playah, hate the game".

Um. Heh. Well. I, uh...yeah. I'm a horrible and ridiculous perpetual flirt. I have been known to flirt with couches. I am all for flirtatious people. She just doesn't usually flirt with me, and seemed to be flirting WITH me, rather than just randomly being flirtatious in my direction. Sigh.

I think ita needs the dragon tights. They're totally her.

Guess what a common side effect is of the antibiotic I'm taking. C'mon, guess. It rhymes with "Bahrain."

Uh. I don't get it. What rhymes with Bahrain? (I'm literally sitting here going "Caraine? Daraine? Eahrain? Fahrain?" Oh, wait...jaw pain? Does that rhyme? It's too late at night for me. I'm a dork. And now I've let you all in on my dorky train of thought. Go Dork Train!)

last night I returned a wallet I found on the ground that had a Social Security Card and a check written out to cash in it

People still do that? (With the check, I mean) Wow! Did they give you a reward? Go you.

Yay for good interview, Nora! Best of luck.

And poor poor SA. Big hugs and best of luck to you and the evil elementary schoolers. Eesh. (OH! It was FOUND! YAY!)

I think berry-flavored Tums are better than the other flavors. This does not make them appropriate dessert, however. Of course, I had oatmeal and an apple for dinner, what do I know?

Drunk and mad.

oooh! which rant? can you give me a hint?

Trudy, my iChat appears to be nsm with the working. I'm not ignoring you if you've typed anything recently.