Stabby stabby stabby TYPE S stabby

So there's a scheduled demonstration in front of the embassy at 3:00 pm today. In morning staff meeting they tell us that we won't be dismissed early, as it should be short and harmless.

Then at 5:40 the Marine comes on the intercom and says "This is not a drill. You have 5 minutes to evacuate the building due to a demonstration." We all sweep our desks into our safes and pile out of the building. Right as I'm passing the Marine at the front door, he announces that they are closing the blast doors. Which are behind me and the Marine - I'm out.

But I ask, "Can I still get out of the compound?" He says yes, the gates are still open.

I book for the back gate (not dumb enough to go out the front into the demonstration), and the guards there say "Sorry. Marines ordered us to close down."

Naturally, I politely point out that the Marine told me it was OK and have the guard phone the Marine. Which he proceeds to not do, picking up the phone, punching some buttons, and setting it back down.

Minutes pass. There are now about 20 embassy people who made it out of the building but are fetched up at the fence. MUCH SAFER @@. The guard has retreated behind his bulletproof glass and refuses to come out. I haul out my cellphone and call the Marine, who says "I'm sorry ma'am. The instructions were explicit."

Being an idiot, I try to reason with him. One of the other officers says, "Let me handle this." I hang up, she calls in on her phone and puts on the voice she used in her previous life as a pre-school teacher. The Marine lets us out.

And if that wasn't enough, once I get to the metro stop (I hiked to the one not in the middle of the demo), I find that all but one ticket machine are broken. Greeks queue according to some chaos theory I don't comprehend, but I'm bigger than most people here, so that's the theory I went on to get my ticket.

A 2-mile walk after getting off the metro, and I am told by some guy lounging in a caterpillar and smoking that I can't go onto my street. Because they are pouring the new sidewalk. This is beyond funny, for so many reasons, but the main one is that THERE'S NOBODY ELSE IN SIGHT. I stare at him, at the abandoned street (with the intact sidewalk on my side), back at him, and head around the caterpillar. He says something I don't catch (probably just as well).

I have no idea why I'm still in a good mood.

I have no idea why I'm still in a good mood.

Because you escaped with your LIFE?!?!?

sj, you are not a loser. You are doing what you need to do.

That's quite an adventure, Raq!

And, OH GOD WHY DOES THIS UTI KEEP HURTING?

Nora, can you get to a drugstore and buy Uristat? It's an OTC painkiller for UTIs.

Oh, I've been practically mainlining it (both AZO Standard and my presciption) since last night. This is the pain through my probable overdosing.

Yow, that's awful. I assume you've been drinking cranberry juice (not Ocean Spray but the harcore 100% cranberry juice) as well?

no, I have no access to that. That's more preventative, though, isn't it?

I am drinking about a gazillion gallons of water though.

Nora, get Northland. There is more cranberry juice in it, and it is mixed only with other juices.

Jayzus, Raq, I'm surprised there weren't dead bodies in your wake before you got to the caterpiller driver.

Jayzus, Raq, I'm surprised there weren't dead bodies in your wake before you got to the caterpiller driver.

But not after, 'cause Caterpillars are pretty handy for clearing that kind of mess.