My eyes have actually begun to glaze over every time I glance at a new chapter of the golf cart story, but:
The pants fit him perfectly, hugging every muscled thigh
Okay, if he has more than two, they should have been a little more careful with that post-apocalyptic radiation.
Maybe there is more than one person in those pants? I mean, they would also have to be special, many-legged pants (because 2 legs per pantleg do not "fit perfectly" make), but better shared pants than individuals with five legs.
In a way, I know what she's aiming for...the pants fit Michael perfectly, and accentuate his muscular legs. But it's like she's off-key, like all the time, it's weird.(and I realize that last sentence doesn't actually argue my linguistic mastery, except maybe to Angela Chase.)
It's an easy fix, really. Not "every muscled thigh" but "each muscled thigh." That would make it slightly purple prose, but not leave the reader with the impression that you have to count the thighs.
Maybe she keeps losing count of the thighs because they're so gosh darned perfect.
I hate it when that happens.
From what I recall, Michael is a fucking tripod, so perhaps therein lies the confusion.
Vonnie! For shame! Have you forgotten anatomy 101? Penii are not firmly muscled. They are spongey tissue and lots of blood vessels.
And they don't have thighs. I hope.