I htink Xander's feelings for Spike--before Season 7, at least--involve contempt for the vampirism, envy for the cooler-than-thou-ness, remembered hatred for all the people who mocked him and beat him up, and grudging pity for something which used to be strong but is now weakened. Xander's essentially a good guy, and Spike's helplessness would inspire both a desire to take advantage and a desire to protect. And maybe simple fascination about someone who still has the air of power and danger. Spike is leashed, but the leash could fail. Xander wonders how close he'll be when the leash finally goes, and will he have been throwing a rock in torment or trying to give comfort?
Dichotomies everywhere, lovely things.
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[eta-- all right, amyp or any other delicate-of-squick persons may not want to read that.]
I can't keep up! going to bed now. Nighty RL.
(I think there should be a thread for RL's link list)
RL, could you at least mark the fandom on the recs? I know, I know, but I am old and boring. Thanks -- i appreciate the links.
I've never written a topping Spike. Bitch has always bottomed. Even in Het stuff, he's bottomed.
No kidding? Weird. I mean, I can see him bottoming with Angelus, but he's *such* an alpha dog. Or at least all his posturing presents him as an alpha dog.
See, I think that you can be very firmly het and have one (or a few) person of the same sex that pings you. For me, Xander is straight, except where he likes to rub up against Spike. It makes perfect sense to me.
Me, too. I feel that way about Gunn/Wes. I don't think Gunn is gay, but he just belongs with Wes. Even now.
My Spike tops from the bottom, almost always. He's a real bottom to Angelus, but with Giles he'll top from the bottom- or bottom from the top, if Giles insists. He definately tops from the bottom with Drusilla- and I think he'd be the same with Xander.
Of course, it has been observed in Bitches that I'm the top-from-the-bottom kind myself, so this may influence it.
