You wouldn't know an organic gtunh' prtunchy if it bit you square in your ghurtyn!

I had a raccoon as a pet when I was a kid. It’s true that they are very clever. Mine would open the cages and pens of other animals just for the excitement of watching them run away. She could learn any trick, but seemed to bored by the idea of learning our stupid tricks. She much preferred self-directed problem solving. She was good friends with our collie, and would climb up the dog’s long hair and ride on his back.

For years after she ran off (they tend to leave for the wild when they are mature) we found shiny objects that she had hidden away in secret places.

You wouldn't know an organic gtunh' prtunchy if it bit you square in your ghurtyn!

There are lots of people who would pay large sums of gold-pressed latinum to be bitten in the ghurtyn by a gtunh' prtunchy.

And they would immediately be arrested if anyone found out.

Cats? Desert creatures.

There's possibly a flaw in this assertion.

There are lots of people who would pay large sums of gold-pressed latinum to be bitten in the ghurtyn by a gtunh' prtunchy.

Like a ferengi and his money are ever parted.

The cat and the ferret would have never forgiven us if we'd let in the coons. These were the same creatures who washed my hands clean of peanut butter when I was cleaning out the fridge (the usual rabies caveats here.) Besides, despite being rather obsessive about cleanliness of their own selves, they make holy messes. They usually manage to break into the storage quonsets about once a year.

Speaking of bears, long before I was a welcome possibility, my parents were camping in the Sierras, in the snow. My mom woke in the dark in a makeshift tarp tent to a "really large man" tromping around their camp. After she groggily decided if it was an axe murderer, she'd be dead, she went back to sleep (long line of brilliant decisions made sleepily in my family.)

When they got up the next morning, they found their tent circled with bear tracks, bear snot on the tarp, and the 40 year old iron skillet they'd made dinner in and left in the coals to burn off any leftover food? Completely scoured of its seasoning. Patient bear, or one with a burnt tongue.

I ate too much candy.

I ate too much candy.

What's the raised eyebrow emoticon?

I'm not sure what animal roots through your stuff when you're camping in the Anti Atlas Mountains. At first we tried to see, and then we just stayed very quiet.

I ate too much drug store clearance chocolate while sitting alone on my couch.

Go drink tea!

And stay away from those drug store sales, missy.