I claim a penguin. They'll fit into the luggage, I'm sure, if she snaffles one of the little ones.

Too late.

Can't get my head around the concept, no matter how often it works for other people.

Yeah, same here. And I know the other people are complex, multifaceted folks whose lives and personalities can't be represented in a text box of X00 words or less. They manage.

There seems to be a disconnect between the me in my head versus the me that's presented to the world (the former's much more porny, for starters). I think part of my problem is picking the me to write about. I'd kind of like to find a fella interested in the me in my head, but then he's going to be dealing with the presentational me, especially at first. And blither, dither, blah, blah.

I could just spend the $30 match.com fee at Good Vibrations instead.

ETA: Or use it to start a "Vacation just like Perkin's" fund, instead. Wow.

I can happily put my finger in my eye, and I wish I hadn't read it.

Maybe I should go back and reinforce the squick warning.

Calli, I agree the match.com kind of stuff especially sucks, since you really don't have a clue what kind of audience you're going to get. There should be a force field so that scary people don't get to look at you or see anything that you're interested in, or maybe there should just be a thing where only very cool, smart, attractive, funny, mind readers are allowed to sign up. One or the other.

Hi, Jesse!

.doc is perfect.

Yahoo! Got my fingers crossed.

I don't know if this was posted before, but apparently, a sense of humor is not foamy:

Funny women a turnoff for most men

We all know men are intimidated by smart women. Now there's proof that they're threatened by funny women, too. A study published this week in the scientific journal Evolution and Human Behavior claims that while men might appreciate witty women, they don't want long-term relationships with them. Why? Because "men see being funny as a male thing," Rod Martin, author of study, told the Independent.

The study, based on interviews with hundreds of men and women in their 20s, found that one-half of the men did not want a partner with a sense of humor.

"The idea that men are more interested in having an audience rather than sharing banter doesn't really surprise me," British comedian Meera Syal told the Independent. "Women see men with a sense of humor as dangerous and sexy, while men see it as threatening. Basically, what it comes down to is that humor is a mark of intelligence."

Not surprisingly, the study found that men were willing to put aside their prejudice against clever women for hookups and short-term flings. So funny ladies, if you're looking for more than a one-night stand, just keep your mouth shut and laugh at whatever he says.

[link]

Finally, I have an excuse for the long, soul-crushing dry spell.

We all know men are intimidated by smart women. Now there's proof that they're threatened by funny women, too.

I'm doomed.

I think all dating profiles should be written over beers with very good and honest friends who love you and do most of the writing. Except billytea's, which are so funny as he writes them that nobody else should be allowed to touch. Also, I need more to do at work since I just went to match.com and searched for men in my age range in my city and I and think I recognize a co-worker and I am totally freaked out by this (though if I'm right he's younger than I thought and also I kind of thought he was gay but apparently he's not for match.com purposes anyway).

Also I have a desperate craving for french fries and left my wallet at home.

We all know men are intimidated by smart women. Now there's proof that they're threatened by funny women, too. A study published this week in the scientific journal Evolution and Human Behavior claims that while men might appreciate witty women, they don't want long-term relationships with them.

The people who did this study clearly did not speak to any of the men I know.