I just feel like I totally validated her fears about me getting married and moving away - that I'd forget all about her.

It is an awful feeling to think (or know) that you've let down a friend. But, you forgot -- you didn't remember and decide that you didn't have time to acknowledge her birthday because spending time with Tom and new friends was more important. You didn't reject her, you made a mistake. {{{Nora}}} If your friend is half as wonderful as you are, I'm sure she'll forgive you.

Thanks, Sparky.

Remember the last time he had short hair and was clean shaven he played for the A's and had the worst year of his career

So he's like Sampson?

Beverly, I'm sorry to hear about all those sensitivities. That must be a PITA. I'll let you know if I hear of any good safe moisturizers.

Nora, as someone who's been on the lonely forgotten side, yeah, it hurts, but honesty and sincerity in making it up to her makes it all better. People forget things so don't beat yourself up.

Enjoy the time with your friend, Nora, and I bet that she'll enjoy it, too. I suspect she's looking forward to seeing you -- you're her best friend, after all!

So he's like Sampson?

I hope so. I posted that comparison in my livejournal earlier.

Nora, I betcha your sincere regret and eager desire to make good will make your friend feel as if you think she's special.

The first year I was with DH, he told me that his Mom's birthday was 11/22. Actually, it is 11/2, so we had a good long embarrassing period of ignoring her birthday, and she forgave us anyway.

Thanks everybody for the brackethugs and outrage over my shocking story of dastardly Grinchy employers. I feel quite validated. I am using my Radical Acceptance techniques to focus my attention on good things like Buffistaluv instead of my desire to fret and grit my teeth. I'm outraged, but the situation not going to ruin my whole day like it would have in my morbid depressed brooding teenage years.

Well, we are still indignant on your behalf.

Why oh why must Ritz Camera vex me? Why have they forsaken me? I have been on hold for 16 minutes and I haven't even spoken to anyone! They have charged my card, but show no order in their system for my parents gift. I want to know if it's shipping today or not!

we are still indignant on your behalf

This is true. flea and I even talked about professional clothes "bonuses" at lunch today, and the consensus was pretty much "what the fuck kind of crack were they smoking?!". Except that flea is generally somewhat less crude than I am.

Katerina- I too am indignant. I don't think you should even consider going back, because they are craxy. And can't do things like that. If your clothes are pressed and clean and generically fit the dress code (like "must wear blazer with pants" or something) I don't think people can do anything. Even my completely craxy boss who hated the way I dressed would only do things like buy me clothes for christmas or give me gift certificates for fake nails or compliment me beyond all reason when I wore a suit-- did not give me $$ and take it away. Although, I do have to say that one of my boss's real issues was that I am overweight-- so she really wanted me to lose weight...

Oh HELL no, I won't go back. Thank all the powers that be for DH, who is more than ready to enable this plan. He doesn't seem to like hearing about how mean they are.

The thing about employers dictating look is that it's hard to know what they really want. Cut and dye my hair, wear makeup, become a smaller size, wear thin and clingy polyester instead of sturdy cotton, who knows what's really on the employee-improvement agenda?

I am having a lot of fun visualizing myself dressed professionally a la Christina Aguilera. Fortunately my imagination is soft focus and I don't look lumpy at all. Also I am imagining the entertainment value of returning to them as a Person Determined To Cause Trouble. Clock in late, take four hour lunches, leave early, yell at callers and refuse to do any chores because I'm busy with the Internet.

Also I have the company credit card numbers with me. Maybe I'll arrange to have a buffalo delivered to the office.