Oh HELL no, I won't go back. Thank all the powers that be for DH, who is more than ready to enable this plan. He doesn't seem to like hearing about how mean they are.

The thing about employers dictating look is that it's hard to know what they really want. Cut and dye my hair, wear makeup, become a smaller size, wear thin and clingy polyester instead of sturdy cotton, who knows what's really on the employee-improvement agenda?

I am having a lot of fun visualizing myself dressed professionally a la Christina Aguilera. Fortunately my imagination is soft focus and I don't look lumpy at all. Also I am imagining the entertainment value of returning to them as a Person Determined To Cause Trouble. Clock in late, take four hour lunches, leave early, yell at callers and refuse to do any chores because I'm busy with the Internet.

Also I have the company credit card numbers with me. Maybe I'll arrange to have a buffalo delivered to the office.

Morning, Lovelies.

KB, I join in the general wha? reaction, and the general agreement that you're probably much better off to be rid of them permanently.

Nora, your friend will forgive. Just make with the belated love. And maybe a note to self to deliver some love "at random" here and there for the next couple of months. So even though a bday might slip your mind, she'll know that SHE hasn't.

Anybody else? I should have taken notes...{{{Bitches}}}

Maybe I'll arrange to have a buffalo delivered to the office.

I adore this.

KB, what kind of company is this? I just told my assistant about what happened and she is also indignant on your behalf.

December 2005 can stop sucking now.

My friend who has lost her ring and her baby, now has found out that one of her cats has heart disease.

WTF??

Ah jeez, that's just not fair.

She never found the ring? Damn.

Nope never found it.

She is getting a new one though and she put in an order for a ring guard.

I think she should put in an order for a whole new year. This one bites ass.

ChiKat, he is a broker in commercial real estate. It's a very small office with just two salesmen. Bitch Wife works from home and vents her spleen via phone and e-mail.

{{{Aimee's friend}}}

In terms of artificial sweeteners. I prefer Splenda for flavor. But I've been told that Saccharine is actually the least harmful. Apparently the whole bladder cancer thing turned out to be wrong... Or at least so I've been told.