Gud, I'm so sorry.

juliana, glad to hear you are feeling a bit better.

This is a complete outsider's perspective, Gud, but it's sounding like forgetting the chocolate was the straw that broke the camel's back, and from where I'm standing, that's too petty for words.

I realize I'm projecting here, a loved one's scenario onto yours, but it sounds like you're the one who's been working hard at a job that can be demanding, both in time and energy. And then you come home and do housework, laundry, child care, and in addition, take the kids out somewhere, or keep them with you on weekends while you three do something together.

Whatever your spouse's mental and emotional issues, she's clearly not present for you, or for the children in this marriage. And for that reason, if anybody is going to leave, I think it should be her. You've done more to keep the house and the household together, and provided more of an emotional grounding for the kids. The three of you are a unit, and the house is your base. It sounds like your wife needs to go somewhere else, somewhere private and work on her own issues.

I know this sounds harsh, and I'm sorry that it does. I wish I had JZ's or Laura's gift of saying the hard things gently, but I don't. All I can do is tell you what I feel following on from what you've posted here. I wish you all the best outcome in the world, and I apologize if I've overstepped the polite bounds of internet friendship.

Not very good. Marriage looks to be pretty much over, but I'm not sure what to do next due to the many complications. So I'm feeling pretty down.

Shit, Gud. I'm so sorry. This is not good.

If you need to talk about any of the lawyerly stuff via email, I'm available. At the very least I can alert you to some of the mistakes you should avoid. As horrible as things look right now, this is actually a period where you need to be legally vigilant so you don't get screwed on custody.

Many sympathies, Gud and family.

No practical advice except to be sure to take care of yourself.

I forgot about the clear bags. I had to do that at Blommingdale's, once upon a time. Nowhere else, though. Still, fuck her. If it's *your* stuff in your bag, not theirs, you can carry as much as you want to.

Her two teeth broke the skin on the inside of her upper lip. I feel really bad.

Aw! It happens, though. My mom said I broke through my bottom lip that way too many times to count when I was learning to walk. And yay! for standing up!

Marriage looks to be pretty much over, but I'm not sure what to do next due to the many complications. So I'm feeling pretty down.

Oh, Gud. I'm so sorry. It's not for lack of trying on your part, though. All I can say is one thing at a time, and try to be good to yourself. And post here whenever you need backup and support.

{{{juliana}}} Gently, though, so as not to upset the tum anymore.

This is a complete outsider's perspective, Gud, but it's sounding like forgetting the chocolate was the straw that broke the camel's back, and from where I'm standing, that's too petty for words.

No, that was just a symptom.

Whatever your spouse's mental and emotional issues, she's clearly not present for you, or for the children in this marriage.

Not really true. She takes care of the kids all day when I'm at work, and works hard at homeschooling our daughter. (I still feel a bit uneasy about this, education-wise it's good, socialization is a concern for me though). She does stuff around the house too, although I think I probably do more overall. You're getting my side of the story, and she has some pretty real complaints too.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do. It's complicated and I don't know that I really want to go into the details of everything in the thread.

Aw! It happens, though.

She's fine now. Seeing all the blood on my sleeve kind of upset me, but she's fine now - sound asleep actually.

Oh, Gud. I'm so sorry. It's not for lack of trying on your part, though.

No, lack of trying is part of the problem. I've done a lot of taking care of kids, helping her in her projects, trying to keep up on the house, but not so good in the romance department. I don't think my heart was in it or has been for awhile.

Gud, I'm so sorry. I can't tell if this is a dark bad day or the final straw -- freakin' board is so limited in this way.

Regardless, you'll find your best way through this. You know you will and we'll just keep reminding you.

No, lack of trying is part of the problem. I've done a lot of taking care of kids, helping her in her projects, trying to keep up on the house, but not so good in the romance department. I don't think my heart was in it or has been for awhile.

Curse you! Being a human being!

You're more than trying. Succeeding is trickier -- and it takes two. (And if you'd quit beating up on our friend the mighty couch-flipper we'd all appreciate it very much. Ta ever so.)