Ah, but you see, I disagree. I clearly deserve far more, because nothing else has gotten me to give one tiny damn about how I look and the fact that my father's entire family has heart disease of colossal proportions and I'm not exactly a poster child for cardiac health and yet I continue to do nothing about it except grow larger and more sedentary. Ack.

Change is hard, and you sound more than a bit overwhelmed, which only makes it harder. You'll figure it out.

Can I have waffles instead, Gud?

I misread this as "Can I have waffles instead, God?" which made me wonder about the theological implications of waffle eating and their effect on society.

My belief in waffles is strong. But it is not monotheistic. There are (another) grandma's waffles that have sausage in them and then the waffles we used to make most Sundays after going to the farmer's market.

Mmm, waffles.

I think Tep can be a real hottie. Now, that doesn't mean you didn't(maybe) have an ugly day today, but that doesn't make you hideous or anything. Those pretty actresses get retouched a lot, you know.

I will remain a Steph fan even if Steph gets off the Steph bandwagon.

Tep, I was actually thinking about posting a similar rant here today.

It's not body-issue related, but what's it going to take for me to stop hating myself? I've been in therapy for five years and I'm stumped. The harder I try, the harder the demons push back.

I'm sorry. I can say that as somebody who totally knows what that is like. Have you been speaking Latin in front of the books again?

Speaking only for myself, practice. I don't shoot for not hating myself ever; I'm aiming for (and have largely achieved) not hating myself mostly. Sometimes I look in the mirror and think "I hate myself", just like anybody else. When that happens, I try to remember HALT -- Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired, adding in my personal favorites, Premenstrual (probably not your problem) and Migrainy. It isn't that I don't have the feeling -- it's that now I can argue with it. I can say "No, I don't really hate myself, I just need to take a nap/take a migraine drug/get out of the house".

what's it going to take for me to stop hating myself?

Oh, honey. I'm with you.

I have self self-hatred issues too. I feel like I'm fucked up my marriage, my house is a mess, my finances are a mess (they are getting better though, so less of an issue), I'm overweight, etc...

Ok, now I'm bummed.