Ugh. I hate me today.
No! Why?
There is no better way -- none better in all the world -- for me to hate myself than to go try on clothes. Specifically, lingerie. It's....seriously, I don't actually have words to explain how much I'm hating myself right now and I can't believe people aren't actively grossed out by me -- and they probably ARE and are just too nice to say "Excuse me, but at what point along your path to morbid obesity were you planning to STOP EATING?!?" -- and I can't believe, I mean, when people say "You look nice," to me, I can't believe they aren't completely full of shit and are just being nice because it's too cruel to make oinking sounds, and I can't accept that anyone would actually want to touch me at all, let alone without clothes on, and I'm just disgusted by myself but apparently not disgusted enough to actually DO anything about it.
And I really really REALLY don't want punctuation of any sort, because while I appreciate the thought behind it, I'm really hating myself and can't even handle anyone being nice to me right now.
t edit
And -- god, I'm so self-centered to even whine about that, when other people have family members dying and legitimate issues and I can't get my fat ass to the gym and therefore must cry about it. God. Sorry. I really, really am.
There is no better way -- none better in all the world -- for me to hate myself than to go try on clothes. Specifically, lingerie. It's....seriously, I don't actually have words to explain how much I'm hating myself right now
Oh.
That.
I just got a bunch of pictures of myself sent to me. Right there with you. I looked at the person in those pictures and boggled, and not in a good way.
Cass, your people are -- and I'm saying this as gently as I possibly can -- bugfuck insane. Be there for the niecelet however and whenever you can. And in the mean time, I'm sorry for your own loss, which it sounds like the family isn't exactly supporting
you
through either. Hrrmph.
I need some decorating help.
I love this pattern. [link] I was thinking of taking napkins and matching cording and making some throw pillows for our sofa and love seat. And maybe a window valance or curtains out of the tablecloth.
Unfortunately, it doesn't match the art I already have in our living room. What sort of art should I look for? I want something kind of contemporary, but still traditional and not florals. I was thinking black and white prints of Paris.
Teppy, please don't be so mean to yourself. You don't deserve it, and I hate to see anyone treating one of my friends that way.
Cass, your people are -- and I'm saying this as gently as I possibly can -- bugfuck insane.
Oh thank heavens it's not just me thinking this. They really really are though...
And now I am laughing loonishly because It's Not Just Me.
Maybe something like this: [link]
Teppy, please don't be so mean to yourself. You don't deserve it
Ah, but you see, I disagree. I clearly deserve far more, because nothing else has gotten me to give one tiny damn about how I look and the fact that my father's entire family has heart disease of colossal proportions and I'm not exactly a poster child for cardiac health and yet I continue to do nothing about it except grow larger and more sedentary. Ack.
Ah, but you see, I disagree. I clearly deserve far more, because nothing else has gotten me to give one tiny damn about how I look and the fact that my father's entire family has heart disease of colossal proportions and I'm not exactly a poster child for cardiac health and yet I continue to do nothing about it except grow larger and more sedentary. Ack.
Change is hard, and you sound more than a bit overwhelmed, which only makes it harder. You'll figure it out.
Can I have waffles instead, Gud?
I misread this as "Can I have waffles instead, God?" which made me wonder about the theological implications of waffle eating and their effect on society.
