I've chatted on irc (with Dan probably) while on Ambien.

Ah, shit, askye. Vibing you wise-decision and get-through-it-ma. Whatever it is, it sounds bad and it sounds like you're making yourself wretched over it. May you pass through the awfulness and make it through to the other side.

The times I've hugely fucked up or had to face something awful that I didn't know how I was going to get through, one thing that helped was reminding myself that whatever I was dreading would be over, sooner or later. If I have to make this horrible confession or submit to that procedure or finish that other awful and depressing task, I force myself to remember that in 24 or 48 hours or a week or a month, I'll be on the other side of the awfulness, looking back, and it will be safely in the past and never to be lived through again. Then it's just a matter of getting from this moment to that moment when it's over and done with.

I'm so not a phone person that drunk dialing is not really a worry. But I totally post when drunk, here more than lj.

((Askye))

Oh, ugh, askye. I totally know that place, and I hope you find a way to just get it over with and not make yourself more unhappy by avoiding. Man, that can be a bitch, though.

Sorry, Askye. I hate having to deal with things like that, too.

Thanks.

The worst thing is I lied to my parents about part of this situation. Mom asked me something and I lied and she asked me "are you telling the truth" and I said "yes". Point blank to her face. I did it because at the time it was easier to deal with than the truth. It kills me that I did that and I'm worried that I'm going to totally ruin my relationship with my parents, esp mom. That she'll feel she can't trust me.

It's just a mess and it's all my fault and I'm really pissed off at my self.

Good luck, Ali; I know exactly how you are feeling.

{{{askye}}}

The worst thing is I lied to my parents about part of this situation. Mom asked me something and I lied and she asked me "are you telling the truth" and I said "yes". Point blank to her face. I did it because at the time it was easier to deal with than the truth. It kills me that I did that and I'm worried that I'm going to totally ruin my relationship with my parents, esp mom. That she'll feel she can't trust me.

I'm so sorry. This is so hard. Personally, I always need to come clean, because I can't live with the stress of not. If you approach her, and you tell her you lied (rather than her eventually finding out) because it felt easier than dealing with the truth, do you think she'll respect that you're coming clean now?

Best wishes Askye...I'm sorry. Do it fast, like ripping off a band-aid.