Oh, my God...the image resulting from the juxtaposition of "boyfriend" "Ipod" and "bang really hard"...I'm terrible.
Wasn't that a House clinic sub-plot?
I thought of that after I typed it, but, well, um, I thought it was just my dirty mind. Silly me.
On an episode of House, Season One:
Dr. House: You've been here for half an hour and you haven't sat down; that tells me its location. You haven't told me what it is; that tells me it's humiliating. You have a little birdie carved under your arm; that tells me you have a high tolerance for humiliation, so I figure it's not hemarrhoids. I've been a doctor twenty years, you're not going to surprise me.
Young Man: It's an MP3 player.
[Pause. House is surprised.]
Dr. House: Is it... is it because of the size, the shape, or is it the pounding bass line?
Some people should not be allowed to Karioke. OMG.
Augh. Why am I so smooth when I don't need it, and when a REALLY HOT girl walks up to me in the club, and asks if I could hand her some napkins, and introduces herself, and leans in to me, and puts her hand on my thigh...and I"m like "Uh, hi".
t thunk
Next time we're together we will have to do flirting lessons meara. It's tragic for hot chicks to be coquetry challenged. I'm sure there are quite a few here that will volunteer to practice flirting with you.
sashays naked through the thread tossing glitter
cries because no one notices
I hate my post office so fucking much right now.
The phone number printed on the "Sorry we missed you!" notice is out of service. The phone number I was given when I called the 1-800 number, also out of service. The phone number listed on the web site? Is a fax line.
As I was unable to speak to anyone personally, I placed four redelivery requests online for this package. All were ignored -- they didn't try to redeliver once. And when I went to place another one today, I was informed that the package had been returned to the sender.
STAB STAB FUCK FUCK STAB.
(I sent them a nasty complaint email, and an apologetic email to calendars.com asking them to re-ship my order.)
Go, Laura!!!
Jessica, that is RIDICULOUS! I'm so sorry.
HELLO, Bitches! I've missed you the last couple of days. I've been so busy, I've barely had time to stop by. Hugs and kisses to everyone!
I just got an e-mail thank you note from my cousin's new baby...with a picture of him sleeping covered with the blanket I crocheted him. It's just about the cutest thing ever.
sj, I'm seeing you in a new and different job with people who are not assholes. It's a better picture. That last job sucked.
Thanks, Hec. I hope you're right.
I have been having the vivid upsetting dreams too lately. I woke up a couple times last night in a complete panick because of what I was dreaming about.
Ooh, Jessica, that is EVIL. The Post Office is FUCKED UP--when I called the 800 number to get my local post office's number, they didn't HAVE it. Nor could they tell me which local post office was actually *mine*--they didn't know! Ridiculousness.
Next time we're together we will have to do flirting lessons meara.
No, see...normally I'm Super!Flirt. One time in college my friends gave me ANTIflirting lessons, cause I needed them.
But somehow, she came and talked to me and I just was NOT following through, cause I'm a MORON. Sigh. I really hope she reads craigslist, but I'm somehow doubting it'll be that easy.
