Divorce plus paperwork = soulcrushing. It's like homework and trauma all tied up into one neat little package.
This this this! I have never heard it said better. This completely captures how I'm feeling.
I fed off a flowerperson, and I spent the next six hours watchin' my hand move.
Spike ,'Same Time, Same Place'
Spike's Bitches 28: For the Safety of Puppies...and Christmas!
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risque (and frisque), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
Pix - Jan 08, 2006 9:09:06 pm PST #3701 of 10001
The status is NOT quo.
Cass - Jan 08, 2006 9:12:27 pm PST #3702 of 10001
Bob's learned to live with tragedy, but he knows that this tragedy is one that won't ever leave him or get better.
It's not that the marriage hasn't been over for a long time, but the paperwork is so soul-draining.And it really is.
I cried for what seemed like forever the day we signed our papers. And, as Hec mentioned, it would be six months before it was even really final.
For all of the hope and promise that comes from signing the marriage certificate, signing the divorce papers just bitchslaps you with reality.
Oh, darling one. It's just hard. It's right, it's needed, it's where you ought to be but it is just so damn hard at the same time.
Pix - Jan 08, 2006 9:18:15 pm PST #3703 of 10001
The status is NOT quo.
We agreed to the divorce months ago, but we haven't done anything legally yet. Living 3000 miles away from each other and his insane travel schedule has made it really difficult to work out the specific details, and since we aren't using lawyers in an attempt to save money, the details are overwhelming. We're filing in CT, which has a 3-month waiting period until it's final once we've filed, but we're not even close to getting all the loans/assets etc. worked out yet TO file. I just want it over.
Cass - Jan 08, 2006 9:22:05 pm PST #3704 of 10001
Bob's learned to live with tragedy, but he knows that this tragedy is one that won't ever leave him or get better.
I would gently rec finding a mediator. Not that there are conflicts so much as it is their job to work out MSAs (Marital Settlement Agreements) and whatever the CT equivilant is. This is just really hard to try to navigate on your own. The complexities are made so much worse by the emotions...
I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all over for you. I really do.
Pix - Jan 08, 2006 9:24:23 pm PST #3705 of 10001
The status is NOT quo.
Yeah, but I just paid $200 for access to all the do-it-yourself paperwork...I disn't have that money in the first place.
Sigh, yeah. I should probably try to find a CT mediator. Again, the whole 3000 mile away and lack of money thing. Feh.
ETA: Anyway, thank you all for keeping me company for a bit. I think I'm going to sign off and try to get some sleep now.
Cass - Jan 08, 2006 9:34:08 pm PST #3706 of 10001
Bob's learned to live with tragedy, but he knows that this tragedy is one that won't ever leave him or get better.
Always around to keep you company when you need. Get some rest.
I was only suggesting a mediator for at least the paperwork because, even if you agree on absolutely everything, it is very complicated and very emotionally charged. It's just a layer to protect yourself from a lot of stress and pain.
juliana - Jan 08, 2006 9:37:14 pm PST #3707 of 10001
I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I miss them all tonight…
Divorce plus paperwork = soulcrushing. It's like homework and trauma all tied up into one neat little package.
Wordy McWord, and I had the quickest, most assetless divorce that side of Reno. It was still awful.
P.M. Marc - Jan 08, 2006 10:14:18 pm PST #3708 of 10001
So come, my friends, be not afraid/We are so lightly here/It is in love that we are made; In love we disappear
We'd love to move back, but I think Pacific Northwest is more likely...
Then it's looking like we might "retire" to Seattle.
::rubs hands::
Cass, I'm glad you were there making things peaceful for your grandmother. Everyone deserves that, I think, but so few people get that sort of ending. Punctuation and peace to you, now.
Oh, Kristin. Bleh. Punctuation and peace for you, too. With a side for Juliana. Because. And for Hec. And for anyone who has had to deal with that particular moment of hell.
Cass - Jan 08, 2006 10:23:52 pm PST #3709 of 10001
Bob's learned to live with tragedy, but he knows that this tragedy is one that won't ever leave him or get better.
A friend made me a mix tape (okay, an iMix) ((and not in the twu luv way)) (((I mean he probably technically does love me and I know he cares, but not in a having a future way))) ((((I am in parenthetical hell here)))) which was sweet.
He made it a few nights ago and I was going to buy the iMixified songs now that I am home again.
Friend called tonight, before I had downloaded, and we were talking about how it was a marketing shame that iTunes didn't let you send presents of iMixes.
Turns out they do. Kinda.
I have an email saying that I have an iMix present and I just need to click the button and then all of the shinies will be mine.
Except it doesn't work. I upgraded iTunes, swapped from Firefox to Explorer. removed every single security setting that I could and nothing. Well, a page that doesn't load or give a clue as to where to go. And nothing in any help files.
This isn't a tech question so much as a tearing of the hair and rending of the garments that something that should have made me smile and feel happy has made me frustrated to the point of tears. A rant.
Also squeezing the puppycat made her fart.
It's just not my night.
Cass - Jan 08, 2006 10:29:22 pm PST #3710 of 10001
Bob's learned to live with tragedy, but he knows that this tragedy is one that won't ever leave him or get better.
Plei, how far is Seattle from Portland? In an idle conversation sort of way...
Everyone deserves that, I think, but so few people get that sort of ending.They do. And I was surprised when I realized how rare it is for someone to be able to pass away at home unless it is something sudden. I am glad we were able to do that for my grandma. She was surrounded by her family and it wasn't something clinical. Not that hospitals and medical care is wrong, just there was nothing to do for her that would help, except ease the pain.