I bet the list has 'cats' on it.

You would lose that bet, pirate boy.

Does the Emmett-can't-say-it list involve liking George Bush?

Are you kidding? He talks about George Bush all the time. "He's sooooo stupid. He's worse than Hitler."

I told Emmett to quit comparing Bush to Hitler (without alluding to internet laws), but that's not on the conversational no-fly zone.

It's not really that intriguing if you've spent any time with an elementary school age boy, you'll soon learn that every bit of their humor is based on things produced by the body.

"You are not allowed to talk to me about snot or vomit or pee or poop or diarrhea or vomit. You can talk about it with your friends all you want. I have no doubt that you are the Noel Coward of snot-based quips, but I don't want to hear about it."

What's intriguing to me is that there are whole series of books devoted to this obsession. Captain Underpants, of course, but also The Day My Butt Went Psycho and the Encyclopedia of Grossology.

Are you saying that we just don't know?

No, though I think this is often the case. Or at least it's hard enough to tell what constitutes one that there are doubts. Me, I'm in little doubt that bonobos (for instance) have 'em. But most intercourse-engaging animals wouldn't. The female orgasm is far less important, in evolutionary terms, than the male's.

Does this have anything to do with the corkscrew penis?

Well. Yes, but not with it being a corkscrew penis.

(...if there is a Disturbing Pig Penis Fact in answer to this question, I... don't think I want to know. Um.)

A number of animals have corkscrew penises, it makes them easier to store when not in use. Some have brush-like or feathery attachments for cleaning out any previous suitors' contributions. Or barbs for additional stimulation. And then there are the various diphallic marsupials and lizards. Frankly, the human apparatus makes us kind of freaky in a vanilla way.

Of course, cats have barbs and there was that freaky hung duck...

Argentinian lake duck! Also a corkscrew shape. And honeybees' genitalia explode in the hopes of blocking the next drone (who, however, has the feathery thing going, and therefore is unlikely to be thwarted. Still, is that any way to treat a queen? If so, it might explain why Prince Phillip always seems so cranky.) Oh, and the banana slug is initially a hermaphrodite but has to chew off its own penis after the first time!

The Day My Butt Went Psycho

Excuse me, I'm just off to add "I have the John Wayne Gacy of arses" to my dating profile.

Emaryn's current reading obsession is the Pony Pals series of books.

t backs slowly away from billytea

t again

Also, hugs and snuggles and hair pats to Cass. I am thinking about you, love.

Sj, your bosses can bite me. @@

The Day My Butt Went Psycho

And its sequel...

Zombie Butts From Uranus

A heart-stopping, nostril-burning sequel to the international bestseller The Day My Butt Went Psycho! Find out what happens when butts attack . . . from outer space!

In the deepest, darkest corner of the solar system lies an enemy more terrifying than the people of Earth could imagine. Vicious warriors who will let nothing stand in the way of their crusade for galactic domination. They're cunning. They're ruthless. They're zombie butts from Uranus!

Earth has only one hope for salvation. Zack, a twelve-year-old who wants nothing more than to wash his hands of the whole butt-fighting business. But Zack cannot shirk his duty--and he cannot escape his destiny. Joined by an assortment of butt-fighters, and his own brave butt, Zack will do what he must to rid the earth of these stinky space invaders.--

These are novels.

Me, I'm in little doubt that bonobos (for instance) have 'em

Not. Going. To. Ask.

No, really.

A number of animals have corkscrew penises, it makes them easier to store when not in use

...but how...but...I don't...but...

...

...'kay, I'm going to take that on trust, and just not try to visualise it.

I do remember about the unfortunate Banana Slug, though.

It's not really that intriguing if you've spent any time with an elementary school age boy, you'll soon learn that every bit of their humor is based on things produced by the body.

Hmm. I guess that this doesn't crop up quite as often if you're their teacher. Although my wee Mohamed, last year (who was very cute, and had big anger-management issues, and is wanted to be a fashion designer or an assassin when he grows up, and who knew all the lyrics to all but 3 of Britney Spears' songs) used to enjoy telling me that he had a whale (or, on other occasions, a mouse, or a monkey, or an elephant) in his pants. I'm fairly sure that this stemmed from us reading a story about a letter to Greenpeace in which there was a whale in a little girl's pond, but either way I wasn't going to touch this particular conversational gambit with a barge pole.

Zombie Butts From Uranus

Heh. Heh heh heh. You said "Uranus." t /Butthead

Yes. I am 12.

Heh. Heh heh heh. You said "Uranus."

I love the Futurama thing where Fry makes a Uranus joke, and everyone looks at him confused. Then Farnsworth explains that astronomers had gotten tired of all the Uranus jokes centuries before, and had changed the name of the planet to Urectum.