What is Em's title?

Her Royal Highness

Yay!

She's always trying to act like she falls into the parent class of the family.

When I was in the grocery store the other day, there were two children in a cart, one about 18 months and the other 3-4 years old. The older one was saying authoritatively, "Sit down, baby. You can't stand up in the cart."

Teppy, I am eating oatmeal right now, AIFG.

Joe got a 3% raise and they are sooper dooper happy with him! Yay!

Woo Hoo!!!

Oh and sj, I concur with Ple's assessment of your store managers jackwaddy aholeness. They're shitty people and you need to go work somewhere else. It's addition by subtraction if you leave there.

Thanks. Part of me is wondering if I could find something else in the next two days before I have to go back to work, so I can go in and give my notice. The only problem with that fantasy, is that it is January.

Does the Emmett-can't-say-it list involve liking George Bush? Or Celine Dion?

The first would never ever EVER happen. The second is only marginally more likely. The actual list, near as I can remember (whitefonted for those who don't feel the need to know exactly what 9-year-old boys consider hi-larious conversational gold): Poop, pooping, farting, snot, pee, and butts.

Heh. Right you are.

For some reason that reminds me when Emaryn came up with the insult "Bottomhead", which she hurled at Leif.

I bet the list has 'cats' on it.

You would lose that bet, pirate boy.

Does the Emmett-can't-say-it list involve liking George Bush?

Are you kidding? He talks about George Bush all the time. "He's sooooo stupid. He's worse than Hitler."

I told Emmett to quit comparing Bush to Hitler (without alluding to internet laws), but that's not on the conversational no-fly zone.

It's not really that intriguing if you've spent any time with an elementary school age boy, you'll soon learn that every bit of their humor is based on things produced by the body.

"You are not allowed to talk to me about snot or vomit or pee or poop or diarrhea or vomit. You can talk about it with your friends all you want. I have no doubt that you are the Noel Coward of snot-based quips, but I don't want to hear about it."

What's intriguing to me is that there are whole series of books devoted to this obsession. Captain Underpants, of course, but also The Day My Butt Went Psycho and the Encyclopedia of Grossology.

Are you saying that we just don't know?

No, though I think this is often the case. Or at least it's hard enough to tell what constitutes one that there are doubts. Me, I'm in little doubt that bonobos (for instance) have 'em. But most intercourse-engaging animals wouldn't. The female orgasm is far less important, in evolutionary terms, than the male's.

Does this have anything to do with the corkscrew penis?

Well. Yes, but not with it being a corkscrew penis.

(...if there is a Disturbing Pig Penis Fact in answer to this question, I... don't think I want to know. Um.)

A number of animals have corkscrew penises, it makes them easier to store when not in use. Some have brush-like or feathery attachments for cleaning out any previous suitors' contributions. Or barbs for additional stimulation. And then there are the various diphallic marsupials and lizards. Frankly, the human apparatus makes us kind of freaky in a vanilla way.

Of course, cats have barbs and there was that freaky hung duck...

Argentinian lake duck! Also a corkscrew shape. And honeybees' genitalia explode in the hopes of blocking the next drone (who, however, has the feathery thing going, and therefore is unlikely to be thwarted. Still, is that any way to treat a queen? If so, it might explain why Prince Phillip always seems so cranky.) Oh, and the banana slug is initially a hermaphrodite but has to chew off its own penis after the first time!

The Day My Butt Went Psycho

Excuse me, I'm just off to add "I have the John Wayne Gacy of arses" to my dating profile.

Emaryn's current reading obsession is the Pony Pals series of books.