I repeat, the duvet cover has been defeated.

Whoot!

C wants to go to a party with people I don't know and then spend the night at a house with a girl I only kinda know. I hate being a grinch, but I think I'd rather she stay home. I had told her she could invite someone over, but "all her friends are going to this party".

Ben got bit by the stomach bug hard, on its way out the door. Our New Year's Eve angst involves easing his hurt feelings over our decision that, "No, you probably shouldn't eat any Chinese food, tonight, just in case." I think I prefer our angst. I can keep my kids 5, 7, and 9 forever, right? Right?!?

Seriously, go with your gut, Suzi. Your reasoning seems sound to me. Plus, it's amateur night.

I had told her she could invite someone over, but "all her friends are going to this party".

Not the best reason to go, but understandable at her age. The big thing is if the party is being chaperoned. If it is, she should be okay. If not, be a Grinch. Better safe than sorry.

Whoohoo, Perkins! Lucky you, getting to bogart the Juliana, soon! It sucks I've got to wait til May to see you all again. BTW, I'ma loving that TJ coffee you gave me. Sometimes, I open the can just to get a good "sniff." Yum.

The never-ending break-up is still going on, although I think I am not unhappy with yesterday. Came over and we talked, laughed, cried, hugged, etc. Felt less I'm not sure what and more like resignation and perhaps closure. Today is far less calm, as I still wish I knew what the future will hold. We love each other so, but I want marriage now and he doesn't. So break-up we must, if only to get our lives back in order without the other clouding up the issue. I will attempt personal discovery, and will try to do that whole love yourself thing as I beat myself up so. He has things to work on as well. I am TRYING not to put too much stock in maybe working things out in the long run. Some couples manage it, and some don't. It's too soon to know what will be for us. It would be so much easier if we were angry or upset or had a different reason for ending.

Meanwhile, I am taking my sweet, sweet time in packing up my stuff (mostly kitchen stuff as he has an oven that works and I have a kitchenette with a toaster oven, but also Christmas gifts), baking his birthday cake, and just trying to make it through the day. Then he'll come home and I'll give him back his key and try to figure out what I really and truly want.

I'm such a coward that I'm not sure I'd do it all over again if I had to, because it hurts so damn much. But there are so many wonderful things I would have missed. And personal growth I might never have acheived. This growing up stuff is so frelling hard. I know I have an opportunity now for personal transformation that I might never take if I stay with him. Doesn't make me feel any more excited about that prospect.

Man, am I wordy. Sorry.

I say go with the gut too, Suzi. Too many kids make stupid decisions on this night, plus the fact that you know she had some iffy friends before, and they're still going to be around, if only on the fringes.

I'm glad you conquered the duvet, Perkins. Those things can be vicious.

Here's to juliana's landing being smooth and on time.

{{{d}}}

Sail, she says that there will be an adult there, but I'm kinda feeling grinchy. Part of it is that we are not "official" yet, gaurdian-wise, so I'd hate for something to happen that could jeapardize that, ya know?

Somehow making a bad parental decision when it is really YOUR decision to make is different. Wow, I had not realized that was part of my reticence until I wrote that out. Thanks for the free therapy.

Oh, d, I hope thinks work out in a way that makes you happy.

I repeat, the duvet cover has been defeated.

You didn't take that on by yourself, did you? Brave woman.

Wow, I had not realized that was part of my reticence until I wrote that out. Thanks for the free therapy.

Who said it was free? ;} Just wait until May. Bwahahaha.

MAY!!!!! One of the big things that is keeping my head up these days!

{{d}} I hope things ease for you soon.

So break-up we must, if only to get our lives back in order without the other clouding up the issue. I will attempt personal discovery, and will try to do that whole love yourself thing as I beat myself up so. He has things to work on as well.

This is very, very wise. good luck to you d.