x-posted with my LJ

Looking back over the last year, I'm actually pretty pleased. I'm happy enough this holiday season that I wrote a Christmas letter. Of course, said Christmas letters haven't gone out yet, because I'm being stubborn and insisting that each one needs a personal note on it. But, it's the first time I've felt like updating family and friends...feeling like I have something worth updating them about. Seems pretty note-worthy in my life.

It's been a good year. In January the antidepressant, Cymbalta, kicked in, making my life quite a bit easier...not perfect, but it's easier for me to access all of the skills I've been learning in DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy). So, the skills training (otherwise known as therapy) has really kicked full-speed ahead. I've learned so much this year and really gotten to a level I used to wonder if I'd ever reach. We're talking about trying to kick up therapy to reach me at that new level, which is pretty exciting.

I made it through another two semesters of school...and each with some pretty amazing accomplishments. In Spring, not only did I finish three classes, but I also completed four incompletes I had lying around that needed to be done. I also missed very few classes and rewarded myself with an iPod, which I love dearly. Summer, I ended up only taking one class so I could have a little break during second session. But, I really enjoyed ASL, and am looking forward to taking the next section in the Spring of '06. Fall was a bit more challenging on a bunch of levels. My asthma gave me a lot of trouble, making me miss a lot of class. But, I made it through without dropping any classes, which was always in the back of my mind. We kept reassessing, and kept plugging away. And I did it. Well, there's one incomplete, but I'm not even giving myself a hard time about that one. It's on my Independent Study, and it won't hurt me to turn it in a month later, like it could if I had taken an incomplete in one of my other classes (one where I could have lost information as time went on). And, my grades were really quite good for all of my classes this year. I'm really proud of myself in that department.

I also started working this year. At the end of May I got a job at Castle School, a school for ED/BD high schoolers. I loved it, but there were problems, and I decided it was not in my best interest to stick it out. I left on good terms, though, and have been back to visit the kids, which they appreciate. This fall I took a job that I was offered near the same time as Castle School. Only, I never got the e-mail offering me the position. So, I didn't know I had two jobs to choose from. But, I stayed in touch with the Assistant Director of the program after leaving Castle School, and eventually was offered the position again...$1 an hour higher than their maximum for the position. And, they've been wonderful. They're used to working with students, and know that the first priority is school, and they make adjustments for that. I've been so very lucky. I really love it there. They are wonderfully patient and want to teach us to do this research. It's really an amazing opportunity.

Relationship stuff is good too. I'm learning to make limits when needed and have many loving family and friends. I've started going back to church, and found a church I feel I can call home, and a wonderful knitting/crocheting group in the church. I'm very lucky, and I know that.

I'm looking forward to a new year, full of new goals (not resolutions...because, I'm looking for these things to grow over the next several years). Gonna try a diet, 'cause that one's just a given. Gonna keep plugging away at school. Gonna work on my books (the essays on depression book, and my memoir/manual on DBT). Gonna apply for a prize scholarship to go to Oxford for summer school. Gonna continue to try to build relationships and work on those skills. Gonna keep plugging away with therapy and stuff, to try to become the best person I can be.

If there's anything I've learned this (continued...)

( continues...) year, it's contentment. I may not always be happy, but I'm usually content. I can thank Radical Acceptance for a lot of that.

Anyway, Happy New Year, everyone! May we all have the best year yet. Much love to you all. Stay safe!

Do the Mayan's know this? Cause they are gonna be super smug when time implodes.

Depends on whose heart they cut out and held aloft to the heavens, surely? Or was that the Toltecs?

I am wearing a vampire girl pin .( I need to take a picture ) and I have LUSH - most importantly one of the dicontinued fairy jasmine bath bombs-- thanks Jon! very nice gifts. I'm going to be glittery for new years eve

2005 was very good to me. I met Dave at the end of 2004, but we only had one date in that year. He's wonderful, and he is a large part of the reason why I have had such a wonderful year. In 2005 I also, moved into a new apartment, which I love a lot and is so much better than my old apartment. I learned how to cook and found out I am not that bad at it. I went back to school and I started working again. Also in 2005 I went to Ohio and met more buffistas f2f. We had a blast, and I finally was able to give a big hug to people that have meant so much to me over the past few years. Then in September, I got to see Nicole and SailAweigh again. We had so much fun, and we saw Wicked! It has been an exhausting years in many ways and there have been a lot of changes for me to get used to, but I will happily take more of the same in 2006. However, 2006 better be nicer to so many buffistas who had a tough time this year.

Beth!!!

Thank you so much for the turtle-themed gift! We already ate all of the chocolate turtles. The necklace is gorgeous (hand-beaded!) and so is the bookmark. Thank you so much!!

Ah, 2005. Another year gone by. This one started out sad: DH & I both laid off, and our sweet kitty Floyd, friend to all, died painfully from leukemia. DH ended up getting a job that isn’t as good as the last one, but at least it comes with benefits. I got one crappy benefit-free job, and then another. I am fortunate to have the resources to stomp off in a huff when my evil employer demanded I return my Christmas bonus due to my improper shopping choices.

Having free time meant that I was able to take advantage of some wonderful travel opportunities, visiting places I stayed at for free. I feel very blessed knowing that doors far from home are open to me.

First, DH & I drove to Colorado in January, in the midst of spectacular snowfall. We had all the fun of going sledding in a winter wonderland. Next, I visited Hawaii for the first time, which was possible because JavaCat invited me to stay with her. All I had to pay for was my flight and meals, and I got to go snorkeling among the sea turtles. Awesome! I will remember that all my days. After that, I got to go to Cleveland and visit Deena in early spring. I got to hang with some of my favorite Buffistas and see masses of pretty daffodils nodding their yellow heads. This was possible because not only did she let me sleep on her couch, she cooked dinner for me. I expected to be kinda afraid of her Raptorgirl, but instead I was so thoroughly charmed that I am now a lifetime member of her fan club. In the summer, I drove to Colorado again, this time with my sister. My cousin took me inner-tubing on the Colorado River, taught me how to cut out stained glass and praised my talent. Now I have another interesting crafting opportunity that is sure to cost me $ and will never produce a dime in profit. Lastly, I went to LA on business, visited my youngest cousin and witnessed the fabulous spectacle of a boy cooking dinner. He’s grown up real nice for someone I once carried around on my hip.

I had two Buffista-sponsored job interviews in 2005, and although these did not result in job offers, going in well prepared with inside knowledge of what was expected felt much better than your typical interview. I am grateful for the efforts and ~ma put forth on my behalf.

So 2005 was another year of wonders and I’m glad I was here to see all of it. I wish all the Buffistas a 2006 filled with good things, and I thank you all for being part of this window to the world. This is a wonderful place that warms my heart and educates me, makes me laugh and lets me share in your joys and sorrows, and helps me answer the question, “But what do the Buffistas think about it?”

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Trudy! Your prezzie arrived and Nic has just absconded with it, and is baring his teeth and growling when I demand it back.

It's Luke Crampton and Dafydd Rees's Rock and Roll; Year by Year and you're right, I didn't own it. It was on the "to get list" and once I pry it out of Nic's hand, I'm going to lick it and purr at the synchronicity, since I'm in the middle of actually writing about a piece of rock and roll history, the Rock Against Racism movement in London in 1978 (and there it is, page 311 - WOOT!)

THANK you!

Yay Beth! I wish I could remember the name of the craftster who makes the Vampire Girl pins. I picked it up at the Bazaar Bizarre in Boston a couple of weeks ago.

discontinued fairy jasmine bath bombs

Really? I had no idea. The store in Boston had a bin full of the Xmas themed ones.

This wasn’t my favorite year by a long shot, but it wasn’t all bad. A Ten List, so to speak, including both the good and the not so.

Top 5 Things About 2005

1. The kids’ continued good health and general happiness.
2. Books with my name on them on the shelves, and a contract for three more.
3. New friends and deepened friendships with others, both online and off.
4. The knowledge that my marriage is strong enough to survive a lot of really shitty stuff, and that Stephen is a truly good man.
5. Trips to see friends, both old and new.

Bottom 5 Things About 2005

1. A spectacular financial crash and burn that led to picking up and moving the kids to my father-in-law’s house for a year.
2. Leaving behind good friends and support systems, both ours and the kids’.
3. The way-too-early death of a dear friend’s husband.
4. Navigating the confusing waters of teenagedom with Jake.
5. Watching Stephen’s discouragement as he tries to find a new job.

I already have too many goals for 2006, I think, the primary one being to get the hell out of where we are now and find a new home. But I need to take care of myself a bit better, too, before the diabetes starts taking its toll, and try to remind my body what muscle tone feels like. And I’d love to see the new year treating the people I love a lot better than the last one did.