What do I want for dinner?

I am not sure you'll want it, but because of my late afternoon bagel snack, I am having a smallish ice cream shakey-ma-doodle.

That sounds good, msbelle. For some reason hot sounds better than cold right now though.

What I really want is a Porto's pulled pork sandwich, but I am pretty sure that won't happen.

Rant:

(which I'll probably delete in a bit, it's just too fucking whiny and depressing)

I have no best money spent. Right now I'm looking at my bank account and cursing every penny I've ever spent on anything. I'm so frigging tired of living paycheck to paycheck, trying to dig myself out of the hole I spent my twenties so brilliantly digging myself into, depending on massive amounts of homelife and marriage-depressing overtime to manage anything but the necessities. And this month my supervisor didn't bother to submit my timesheet until last Friday (she had it, completely signed with all OT back-up documentation attached, on 11/30) so the OT check won't come in until 12/28. No money for Christmas presents or Christmas eve dinner. No money for the auto insurance that comes due on the 27th. Not even any money to go see Serenity at the bargain theater down the street this week. I could borrow from Hec, but then he's got no Christmas present/Christmas eve dinner money.

And it's all totally my fault. I fucking hate this so much, every single goddamn month. Hate.

t /whiny rant

Ugh, JZ, that sucks, and I shake my fist in your boss's direction for you.

Oh, JZ, I'm so sorry. That's so wrong of your boss. She should at least buy you dinner or something to make up for it.

I should note that this isn't my good boss whom I adore, this is just the division admin supervisor who signs things and shit. I mean, I probably should have emphasized to her when I dropped all the forms off that I really needed this money ASAP, but... dammit, why should I have even? Shouldn't "get the money to the person who earned it ASAP" be the default setting, not the special circumstance that warrants a heads-up?

It just feels like I'm going to spend the entire rest of my life trying to pay down stupid debts and carving away one small pleasure after another trying to do it, and in the end I'm just going to be dead anyway and the debt will outlive me by decades. I'm so sick of feeling guilty every time I buy a goddamn cup of coffee.

Best money I spent?

Currently, I'm thinking it was the money I spent for my orthotics. . .

Shouldn't "get the money to the person who earned it ASAP" be the default setting, not the special circumstance that warrants a heads-up?

You would think, especially this time of year. I would complain to GoodBoss.

the debt will outlive me by decades

Not having kids, the thought of creditors fruitlessly howling at my funeral gives me twisted joy. You can have my money when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers.