I wrote a love letter once. 7th grade. My friend (?) told me that if I wrote it out and didn't sign it and put it in his locker, then I would feel better.

So, I did.

And he got it at the end of the day, when everyone was standing around and he read it out loud and then my friend (?) told them all I wrote.

Anonymous love letters suck.

I got an .... email once that, well, I read it with one eye and a squinty one at that, trying really hard not to run screaming from the computer center. Then I scratched my head, made a face, thought thank GOD I'm leaving the country in 3 weeks and decided I didn't care if they purged my inbox while I was gone. Which they did.

In eighth grade, one of the geekiest boys I have ever met wrote down the lyrics from "Hotel California" (from memory) for me while we were suffering through math class. A day or two later he made me a map of a made-up country where we, apparently, were the rulers. Very strange. He had an Adan's apple the size of a grapefruit.

Meet me in the boys room in a loose shirt so we can fool around."

That's some smart thinking though, with the loose shirt request and all.

Man, I've never gotten even a creepy or sucky love letter.

I've gotten dirty emails, but I guess that doesn't count?

I had a guy who I'd spent years turning down (he once hacked into my e-mail account and challenged me for having sent e-mails saying rude things about me -- that confrontation didn't last long) write a book where the title character was named ita. She also was blinded pretty early on in the story. Perfectly healthy behaviour. On the upside, he TAed a course I took and gave me extra points on an assignment for Christmas. This would have been wrong, except my other fried who was TAing another course kept marking me down on everything.

Seek balance.

Also, people are weird.

36 years down, and I've never gotten a non-platonic and welcome letter of affection. I hang out with the wrong crowds.

36 years down, and I've never gotten a non-platonic and welcome letter of affection. I hang out with the wrong crowds.

Ditto.

No, I lie. I got a badly spelled one from the class clown in Grade 8.

ETA:Wait, that one was not welcome. I mentioned the bad spelling...

I searched for "shimmer," and narrowed the category down to "makeup" and then further down to "body."

Wait, "Shimmer" is a floorwax and a dessert topping AND glitter makeup? That's what I call a real multi-tasker.

I had no idea you could drive men mad so well, ita. Now we just need to find someone who goes mad in a good way.

I had no idea you could drive men mad so well, ita.

It's a gift. There was also the guy that told me the "anecdote" about shooting the family cat (it had gotten at his cashmere sweaters) over dinner, looked surprised I wouldn't go back to his hotel room, and then 8 years after I stopped talking to him, after sending out a conciliatory e-mail to me he tried to join the LAistas mailing list.

For all I know, he's watching right now.

Did I mention, people are weird? Still looking for the right nutcase.