Dylan, I don't need you to apologize for offending me because that's not how I'm wired. What would be nice though would be an acknowledgement that what you said could be read as offensive. What I personally would like to see is less generalizing and less defensiveness when called on it.
No.
No, because what you're saying is that my awful experience in public school offends you, and therefore I'm this evil boor who hates all teachers. You're conflating my bad experience with a false conclusion that I hate you and your entire profession.
Sure he's talking about his experience, but he's painting a pretty broad brush stroke that is easily read as applying to more than just his experience.
Sure, when you quote me out of context. Here's the original paragraph.
And I, honestly, was the product of some really terrible public schooling. I had 2-3 teachers in high school who gave a rat's ass about me or about education. The rest were too busy getting drunk or writing out detention slips or planning on their retirement to teach.
In context, it makes sense. Maybe a little broad, but true. A few of my teachers still wanted to teach and loved to teach. For instance, Mrs. Wallace's love of teaching Latin made me love the Dead Language. And Mrs. Benson pushed me hard in English and eventually led me to realize I was far better in language than in math. On the flip side, my Algebra II teacher's idea of teaching was telling kids where to read in the book and not saying anything. I never learned how logs worked (which killed me in Analytical Trig). At least two of my teachers taught drunk -- one of them eventually was suspended and dried out through AA. And at least three of them admitted to me they were more concerned about how long until they could retire than about teaching.
To make matters worse, I was dropped into this environment after two years of junior high at a academically rigorous Catholic school. I went from a place where they dropped a lot of work on you because that's what you paid them to do to a place where I was ahead of the curricula in a few spots and the teachers weren't working the students as hard. So, it was four years of ennui punctuated with the occasional good teacher and a lot of bullying. I mean, how many times can you be called "faggot" before it stops hurting? At least the beatings stopped.
But as this board shows, my public school experience was unique, and uniquely awful. And while I have a deep-seated grudge against Tulsa Public Schools and most of the teachers I was around back then, those are the only people I'm angry with. But it does color what I think of education significantly. I don't want Annabel to go through what I went through. So I'm going to be watching and making sure it doesn't, just as any parent would do.
If I thought all public schools were bad, why would I be planning on sending Annabel to Seattle Public Schools (as I have stated several times in this thread)?
I'm not sure how you can say that sentence, in context, applies to anything BUT my experience.
he's talking about how much public school sucks
Where did I say that? Point it out. Show me. If I did, I apologize.
But now I'm offended. You're saying all these things about me that are not true, are not in the text, and are not in my heart. And this is on top of suggesting that the years of hell I went through weren't genuine in the least, and inferring that I'm some public school hater and public school teacher hater. That's not fair. Not in the least. And it's completely wrong.
Quite frankly, I was frustrated that Dylan thought my comment about people who compare their high school experiences to current high schools was directed at him.
It wasn't? I'm sorry. I thought it was. Mea culpa.
you know what, Dylan, I'm finding it easier to take this to bureau. Which is what I plan on doing.
What would be nice though would be an acknowledgement that what you said could be read as offensive.
No, because what you're saying is that my awful experience in public school offends you, and therefore I'm this evil boor who hates all teachers. You're conflating my bad experience with a false conclusion that I hate you and your entire profession.
It seems to me that there is a communication issue here. I can't speak for Kat, but I can speak for myself.
Dylan, I understand that your experience was unique and that is what you were speaking about. I also understand that some of your comments had the potential to be read as offensive. And, in fact, were read as offensive.
Perhaps what would be an appropriate response would be to apologize for the unintended offense rather than the defensive reiteration of your point. To me, that reads as being dismissive of the feelings of other posters.
Where did I say that? Point it out. Show me. If I did, I apologize.
I am OK with Annabel going to public school, but I'm afraid she'll never get pushed and prodded by her teachers and peers to be the intellectual superstar we all know she's going to be. It is very easy to just put on the cruise control and float through primary/secondary school without reading a book or studying, esp. if the school's purpose is less about educating and more about self-preservation and order-keeping. Then you hit college and have no study habits.
To me, this very clearly says that public school sucks. Here, you are saying that Annabel is going to receive a substandard education because she will be in a public school.
What would be nice though would be an acknowledgement that what you said could be read as offensive.
I do not understand why Kat was upset by dw's comment:
I had 2-3 teachers in high school who gave a rat's ass about me or about education. The rest were too busy getting drunk or writing out detention slips or planning on their retirement to teach.
I do not see any "lumping of PS teachers" in his posts. They seem to me to be quite specific to his own experience. His anxiety that Annabel might experience something similar seems reasonable for him as her parent, and his resolve to see that her school experience is better than his own seems laudable.
But seeing that Kat found that post offensive, it becomes apparent that I should apologize for my comment:
Doctors treat diseases. Nurses treat people.
which was much more general, flippant, and dismissive.
I apologize to any who were offended by that remark. I am sorry to have implied that doctors do not treat people, or that they might not care about them as much as nurses do, or that nurses don't do more than deal with people. They do.
dcp, instead of fueling the issue with sarcasm, it might be more productive to state your opinion forthrightly. If you disagree that posters don't need to apologize for an unintended offenses (which is what I assume is the point of your post), could you explain why you think so?
To me, this very clearly says that public school sucks. Here, you are saying that Annabel is going to receive a substandard education because she will be in a public school.
Then let me rephrase:
I am OK with Annabel going to public school, but I'm afraid she'll never get pushed and prodded by her teachers and peers to be the intellectual superstar we all know she's going to be. It WAS very easy FOR ME to just put on the cruise control and float through primary/secondary school without reading a book or studying, esp. if the school's purpose is less about educating and more about self-preservation and order-keeping. Then I hit college and had no study habits.
I apologize for any anger and confusion the original wording caused. It was not clearly expressed as my experience and my experience alone.
I don't know what to say right now. This board has meant a lot to me for several years now, and I have a lot of friendships here I'd hate to lose.
But I just can't be here as things stand, so I'm leaving. My email is good, and I'll probably post on LJ.
Thank you for the clarification. I've taken my issue to bureau at this link [link] since I'm actually more bothered by a pattern of behavior that is disruptive to the community.
