I am not sure how you've gone from that to saying he is unwelcome. If being asked to obey community standards is unwelcoming, then I don't know what to do.

While I'm undoubtedly biased, it feels to me like Dylan is getting criticism for things that I could say, if not with impugnity, at least with considerable benefit of the doubt.

But that's not necessarily the school's fault, is it? I mean, not everyone is going to excel at everything.

Not necessarily, and I don't think math is my greatest natural strength. But my school was demonstrably weak in math. I was the ONLY person I knew in college who hadn't taken calculus in high school--because my school didn't offer it. Our math teacher (I had the same one for four years, since he taught everything algebra and higher) was good, but a proper college preparatory education should've included calculus. And as for the sciences, trust me, my school was weak.

In general, compared to almost all of my college friends, I came from a high school that just wasn't that focused on advanced academics and preparing students to get into and succeed at a top college. Which isn't necessarily a failing on my school's part--most kids there didn't WANT that. But I did. Which is why it was a bad school for me.

Susan, if it seems that we're a bit defensive, I think you need to consider that Dylan told us all to burn in hell less than two weeks ago. Expecting everything to be smooth sailing so soon may be asking a bit much.

Quite frankly, I was frustrated that Dylan thought my comment about people who compare their high school experiences to current high schools was directed at him. Just like Dylan, sometimes I say things that are generalized to discussion at hand and are not personal attacks.

We all have days when we don't feel welcome to the board. It happens. We're human. The choice becomes how we deal with it. I choose to take some time away from time to time. You have that right too, as does Dylan. I just don't see what else I can possibly say here.

Also, I don't think anyone said Dylan is a horrible person. And you married him because you love him. That's what important, not what someone else thinks of him, yes?

Well, yeah, but the fact that I love him makes me want to go charging in with guns blazing and sword swinging in his defense.

Oddly, I wouldn't go chargeing in to defend Matt in a social situation. I might make room for him to make a graceful exit, but there are places where we see things differently. Places where he is more aggressive , places where I am more ...ummm.. shareing. I'd be offended if he defended me - or tried to explain me.

Now there are places where I would like demolish anyone that does him harm. Mostly his work situation where he doesn't have a lot of choices.

I enjoy seeing the differences in relationships.

I'm saying he's ruffled my feathers and I am asking for something because of that. I am also saying that it's not the first time he's ruffled feathers and not really addressed it.

Susan, I understand your wanting to fight brutally to defend Dylan but he has ruffled feathers. A couple of weeks ago, he did the same wanting to "defend" you, and it went against our community standards. Wanting to protect someone you love is a natural thing. But hurting others to do so isn't acceptable here.

Oddly, I wouldn't go chargeing in to defend Matt in a social situation.

Hi. Longtime lurker, third time poster.

Once Matt sent me an email about my writing, long ago before I started the book and was wondering if I had the talent to do so, and I kept it and when I feel like shit about my progress, I read it and feel better. I'm not sure if I ever thanked him for that.

But I'd charge into a room to defend him based on that alone.

I'm not sure if I ever thanked him for that.

I thank G-d for my urban public high school education. I was blessed enough to have teachers who were, for the most part, passionate and skilled in what they did. I understand that many places this is not true - and I have reason to believe that my sister's kids in the same school system did not get the same benefits some years later. Still. I'm thankful for my teachers.

Once Matt sent me an email about my writing, long ago before I started the book and was wondering if I had the talent to do so, and I kept it and when I feel like shit about my progress, I read it and feel better. I'm not sure if I ever thanked him for that

He's good at that . Thank You.