Also, I don't think anyone said Dylan is a horrible person. And you married him because you love him. That's what important, not what someone else thinks of him, yes?

Well, yeah, but the fact that I love him makes me want to go charging in with guns blazing and sword swinging in his defense.

Oddly, I wouldn't go chargeing in to defend Matt in a social situation. I might make room for him to make a graceful exit, but there are places where we see things differently. Places where he is more aggressive , places where I am more ...ummm.. shareing. I'd be offended if he defended me - or tried to explain me.

Now there are places where I would like demolish anyone that does him harm. Mostly his work situation where he doesn't have a lot of choices.

I enjoy seeing the differences in relationships.

I'm saying he's ruffled my feathers and I am asking for something because of that. I am also saying that it's not the first time he's ruffled feathers and not really addressed it.

Susan, I understand your wanting to fight brutally to defend Dylan but he has ruffled feathers. A couple of weeks ago, he did the same wanting to "defend" you, and it went against our community standards. Wanting to protect someone you love is a natural thing. But hurting others to do so isn't acceptable here.

Oddly, I wouldn't go chargeing in to defend Matt in a social situation.

Hi. Longtime lurker, third time poster.

Once Matt sent me an email about my writing, long ago before I started the book and was wondering if I had the talent to do so, and I kept it and when I feel like shit about my progress, I read it and feel better. I'm not sure if I ever thanked him for that.

But I'd charge into a room to defend him based on that alone.

I'm not sure if I ever thanked him for that.

I thank G-d for my urban public high school education. I was blessed enough to have teachers who were, for the most part, passionate and skilled in what they did. I understand that many places this is not true - and I have reason to believe that my sister's kids in the same school system did not get the same benefits some years later. Still. I'm thankful for my teachers.

Once Matt sent me an email about my writing, long ago before I started the book and was wondering if I had the talent to do so, and I kept it and when I feel like shit about my progress, I read it and feel better. I'm not sure if I ever thanked him for that

He's good at that . Thank You.

Dylan, I don't need you to apologize for offending me because that's not how I'm wired. What would be nice though would be an acknowledgement that what you said could be read as offensive. What I personally would like to see is less generalizing and less defensiveness when called on it.

No.

No, because what you're saying is that my awful experience in public school offends you, and therefore I'm this evil boor who hates all teachers. You're conflating my bad experience with a false conclusion that I hate you and your entire profession.

Sure he's talking about his experience, but he's painting a pretty broad brush stroke that is easily read as applying to more than just his experience.

Sure, when you quote me out of context. Here's the original paragraph.

And I, honestly, was the product of some really terrible public schooling. I had 2-3 teachers in high school who gave a rat's ass about me or about education. The rest were too busy getting drunk or writing out detention slips or planning on their retirement to teach.

In context, it makes sense. Maybe a little broad, but true. A few of my teachers still wanted to teach and loved to teach. For instance, Mrs. Wallace's love of teaching Latin made me love the Dead Language. And Mrs. Benson pushed me hard in English and eventually led me to realize I was far better in language than in math. On the flip side, my Algebra II teacher's idea of teaching was telling kids where to read in the book and not saying anything. I never learned how logs worked (which killed me in Analytical Trig). At least two of my teachers taught drunk -- one of them eventually was suspended and dried out through AA. And at least three of them admitted to me they were more concerned about how long until they could retire than about teaching.

To make matters worse, I was dropped into this environment after two years of junior high at a academically rigorous Catholic school. I went from a place where they dropped a lot of work on you because that's what you paid them to do to a place where I was ahead of the curricula in a few spots and the teachers weren't working the students as hard. So, it was four years of ennui punctuated with the occasional good teacher and a lot of bullying. I mean, how many times can you be called "faggot" before it stops hurting? At least the beatings stopped.

But as this board shows, my public school experience was unique, and uniquely awful. And while I have a deep-seated grudge against Tulsa Public Schools and most of the teachers I was around back then, those are the only people I'm angry with. But it does color what I think of education significantly. I don't want Annabel to go through what I went through. So I'm going to be watching and making sure it doesn't, just as any parent would do.

If I thought all public schools were bad, why would I be planning on sending Annabel to Seattle Public Schools (as I have stated several times in this thread)?

I'm not sure how you can say that sentence, in context, applies to anything BUT my experience.

he's talking about how much public school sucks

Where did I say that? Point it out. Show me. If I did, I apologize.

But now I'm offended. You're saying all these things about me that are not true, are not in the text, and are not in my heart. And this is on top of suggesting that the years of hell I went through weren't genuine in the least, and inferring that I'm some public school hater and public school teacher hater. That's not fair. Not in the least. And it's completely wrong.

Quite frankly, I was frustrated that Dylan thought my comment about people who compare their high school experiences to current high schools was directed at him.

It wasn't? I'm sorry. I thought it was. Mea culpa.

you know what, Dylan, I'm finding it easier to take this to bureau. Which is what I plan on doing.