Obviously I can't speak for anyone else, but neither of you are unwelcome to me. Which reminds me, Seattle is not representing in my call for F2F pimpage! Which then also reminds me, happy birthday Jilli!
Spike? It's you. It's really you! My therapist thought I was holding on to false hope, but…I knew you'd come back. You're like…you're like Gandalf the White, resurrected from the pit of the Balrog, more beautiful than ever. Oh…he's alive Frodo. He's alive.
Andrew ,'Damage'
Spike's Bitches 27: I'm Embarrassed for Our Kind.
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risque (and frisque), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
billytea - Nov 17, 2005 7:29:51 pm PST #5456 of 10003
You were a wrong baby who grew up wrong. The wrong kind of wrong. It's better you hear it from a friend.
Cass - Nov 17, 2005 7:36:55 pm PST #5457 of 10003
Bob's learned to live with tragedy, but he knows that this tragedy is one that won't ever leave him or get better.
what does it say about me that I chose to marry him?That you love him and that he loves you and that together you just click and work well together.
It doesn't, for me, have much to do with how people fit in an online community.
Kat - Nov 17, 2005 7:37:34 pm PST #5458 of 10003
"I keep to a strict diet of ill-advised enthusiasm and heartfelt regret." Leigh Bardugo
Susan, I'm not saying anything about the state of his character or yours. I'm saying he's ruffled my feathers and I am asking for something because of that. I am also saying that it's not the first time he's ruffled feathers and not really addressed it.
I want to be as clear as I can. For me, I've seen a breach (and more than one) in community behavior. And I've seen it happen in more than one thread with more than one person. Right now, I'm offended and I'm trying to resolve it in thread.
I am addressing a conflict that has offended me in the way that the board has decided conflicts should be addressed. I am not sure how you've gone from that to saying he is unwelcome. If being asked to obey community standards is unwelcoming, then I don't know what to do.
Amy - Nov 17, 2005 7:39:57 pm PST #5459 of 10003
Because books.
I would've been completely out of my depth in a real collegiate biology, physics, or chemistry class, and I struggled in economics, because I was so weak WRT math.
But that's not necessarily the school's fault, is it? I mean, not everyone is going to excel at everything. You could have had the guy from Numb3rs teaching me math and I would have flunked. Education is always a two-way street -- teacher *and* student.
Also, I don't think anyone said Dylan is a horrible person. And you married him because you love him. That's what important, not what someone else thinks of him, yes?
Susan W. - Nov 17, 2005 7:41:08 pm PST #5460 of 10003
Good Trouble and Righteous Fights
I am not sure how you've gone from that to saying he is unwelcome. If being asked to obey community standards is unwelcoming, then I don't know what to do.
While I'm undoubtedly biased, it feels to me like Dylan is getting criticism for things that I could say, if not with impugnity, at least with considerable benefit of the doubt.
Susan W. - Nov 17, 2005 7:47:08 pm PST #5461 of 10003
Good Trouble and Righteous Fights
But that's not necessarily the school's fault, is it? I mean, not everyone is going to excel at everything.
Not necessarily, and I don't think math is my greatest natural strength. But my school was demonstrably weak in math. I was the ONLY person I knew in college who hadn't taken calculus in high school--because my school didn't offer it. Our math teacher (I had the same one for four years, since he taught everything algebra and higher) was good, but a proper college preparatory education should've included calculus. And as for the sciences, trust me, my school was weak.
In general, compared to almost all of my college friends, I came from a high school that just wasn't that focused on advanced academics and preparing students to get into and succeed at a top college. Which isn't necessarily a failing on my school's part--most kids there didn't WANT that. But I did. Which is why it was a bad school for me.
Pix - Nov 17, 2005 7:50:11 pm PST #5462 of 10003
The status is NOT quo.
Susan, if it seems that we're a bit defensive, I think you need to consider that Dylan told us all to burn in hell less than two weeks ago. Expecting everything to be smooth sailing so soon may be asking a bit much.
Quite frankly, I was frustrated that Dylan thought my comment about people who compare their high school experiences to current high schools was directed at him. Just like Dylan, sometimes I say things that are generalized to discussion at hand and are not personal attacks.
We all have days when we don't feel welcome to the board. It happens. We're human. The choice becomes how we deal with it. I choose to take some time away from time to time. You have that right too, as does Dylan. I just don't see what else I can possibly say here.
Susan W. - Nov 17, 2005 7:50:32 pm PST #5463 of 10003
Good Trouble and Righteous Fights
Also, I don't think anyone said Dylan is a horrible person. And you married him because you love him. That's what important, not what someone else thinks of him, yes?
Well, yeah, but the fact that I love him makes me want to go charging in with guns blazing and sword swinging in his defense.
beth b - Nov 17, 2005 8:04:44 pm PST #5464 of 10003
oh joy! Oh Rapture ! I have a brain!
Oddly, I wouldn't go chargeing in to defend Matt in a social situation. I might make room for him to make a graceful exit, but there are places where we see things differently. Places where he is more aggressive , places where I am more ...ummm.. shareing. I'd be offended if he defended me - or tried to explain me.
Now there are places where I would like demolish anyone that does him harm. Mostly his work situation where he doesn't have a lot of choices.
I enjoy seeing the differences in relationships.
Cass - Nov 17, 2005 8:11:52 pm PST #5465 of 10003
Bob's learned to live with tragedy, but he knows that this tragedy is one that won't ever leave him or get better.
I'm saying he's ruffled my feathers and I am asking for something because of that. I am also saying that it's not the first time he's ruffled feathers and not really addressed it.Which is how it should play out when these situatons occur.
Susan, I understand your wanting to fight brutally to defend Dylan but he has ruffled feathers. A couple of weeks ago, he did the same wanting to "defend" you, and it went against our community standards. Wanting to protect someone you love is a natural thing. But hurting others to do so isn't acceptable here.