I just went back and re-read Dylan's posts, and I honestly can't find anything that criticized public schools and teachers in general as opposed to his particular experience in a particular school system in a particular time.

---

waves something shiny

mesmerized

All times, for me.

It's just delicious.

What would be nice though would be an acknowledgement that what you said could be read as offensive. What I personally would like to see is less generalizing and less defensiveness when called on it.

This is a good way to post in general, to me.

---

cassie, can you IM a sec?

---

The rest were too busy getting drunk or writing out detention slips or planning on their retirement to teach.

I think this is what is getting me, Susan. Sure he's talking about his experience, but he's painting a pretty broad brush stroke that is easily read as applying to more than just his experience.

And I totally get that you are saying that he's talking about his experience. I'd be more willing to let it go or ignore if this were the first time he's said something incendiary and insensitive, but it isn't. Cause if whether he's talking about Seattle or telling "fuckhead" board members to "burn in motherfucking hell" or if he's talking about how much public school sucks, I've never seen him really just say,"Oops. I offended. Sorry." In fact, even acknowledging that one has "over-over-over-over-over-reacted " is not quite the same as saying "whoa. Sorry. I'll try not to do that again."

So maybe, in light of that, I'm not really willing to let it go or ignore it.

---

I mean, frankly my particular public school system was terrible for me too, despite quite a few fine and dedicated teachers. But the system wasn't really designed for kids like me, and while I did learn some great things in school, on the balance I got into a top college and did well there despite my K-12 education rather than because of it. I floundered in calculus and even had to work a bit at my non-major's science requirements because my pre-collegiate foundation was so lousy. I would've been completely out of my depth in a real collegiate biology, physics, or chemistry class, and I struggled in economics, because I was so weak WRT math.

But I don't know if I can say that the public schools in my corner of Alabama in the 70's and 80's did a lousy job of preparing me for college and for a future anywhere outside that podunk town without being accused of teacher-bashing.

---

OK.

To be blunt, I feel like Dylan isn't welcome here.

And if he isn't, then I'm not either, really.

---

I mean, if Dylan is some kind of horrible person, what does it say about me that I chose to marry him?

---

Obviously I can't speak for anyone else, but neither of you are unwelcome to me. Which reminds me, Seattle is not representing in my call for F2F pimpage! Which then also reminds me, happy birthday Jilli!

---

what does it say about me that I chose to marry him?

That you love him and that he loves you and that together you just click and work well together.

It doesn't, for me, have much to do with how people fit in an online community.

---

Susan, I'm not saying anything about the state of his character or yours. I'm saying he's ruffled my feathers and I am asking for something because of that. I am also saying that it's not the first time he's ruffled feathers and not really addressed it.

I want to be as clear as I can. For me, I've seen a breach (and more than one) in community behavior. And I've seen it happen in more than one thread with more than one person. Right now, I'm offended and I'm trying to resolve it in thread.

I am addressing a conflict that has offended me in the way that the board has decided conflicts should be addressed. I am not sure how you've gone from that to saying he is unwelcome. If being asked to obey community standards is unwelcoming, then I don't know what to do.

---