For what it's worth, Dylan, on my part - apology accepted. (Although that might be easier for me to say since I wasn't around when you originally consigned us to hell, so it didn't really ruffle my feathers.)

As for Tough Love - I don't even know if that's so much an issue as thread dynamics. As you note, this has come up before with Susan's participation in other online communities. The repeated looping presents a particular difficulty in an online community - you're faced with the quandry of either (a) taking it seriously - in which case you're along for the ride on a crisis of the week; or (b) not taking it seriously - in which case you're being disrespectful to Susan.

At the very least, Aimee's original response took Susan's concerns seriously and tried to address them as such.

I know that I have had to curb my tongue from making the same kind of post - and haven't always been successful in keeping my mouth shut. Though I do try to keep such responses brief and non-inflammatory. It still amounts to: Don't Flip Out! or the popular variant, You're Flipping Out Again!

What else can we say when the same issues come up? When we see Susan following the same intractable path that's so obviously a worried, worst-case-scenario loop?

For all that, I will note that I am fond of Susan and have really come to appreciate that she is very honest about addressing her own issues, and gives them a great deal of serious thought.

A blessing on all three of your heads. Y'all deserve a break, and I hope the pressure eases up for your family in this coming year.

Dylan, thank you for that.

There is just 1 thing I want to address about what you said.

True tough love is supposed to be a shot of reality given with love. I see shots of reality, but I don’t see a lot of love.

I know you delurked relatively recently (compared to Susan, for instance), and I know that you did lurk in the past, but I don't know how extensively, or for how long. So, I don't know how much you've seen in the past of Susan coming in here and expressing her worry about Annabel, and, by extension, how much you've seen of the responses to her in the past (yesterday excluded).

The way people have responded to her worries in the past -- offering advice, sympathetic stories of their own children, reassurances -- is, to me, *very* loving. If yesterday wasn't loving, the past 18 months (and prior) have been. Please know that.

I really don't think it was tough love, it was more like people finally hitting the wall.

There are experienced parents here. There are parents of disabled people here. There are actual disabled people here. They deal with these issues, they have wisdom on the subject, they have extended themselves generously and repeatedly and been ignored or dismissed about ten BAGILLION times. Something had to give.

I was thinking I was being kind. We're just people, like she is, and some days it's not as easy to be hairstroke encouraging. Not to mention that I personally don't appreciate but a small amount of that without thinking "That's it. They think I'm mental." So I think it is possible that Susan and I have never communicated well. But I don't wish any ill-will, honest, and can respect your urge to defend your spouse although the wording gave me some pangs.

I think I missed something in my skipping and skimming.

Be grateful.

Shoot, I need to get my pictures together. There was a Tigger and a dinosaur with a butterfly tummy. Shoot about the pictures, not the missing out. Sounds like a good thing to miss out on.

I should be doing reading for class tomorrow but I don't wanna.

So I'm cruising the internet on the lovely free wireless at the hotel...

re: kerfuffle. I have many thoughts, but also doubts of the appropriateness of posting them at this point. I am glad there was an apology, but I am still completely shocked at the tone and phrasing of dw, both today and some stuff yesterday. I mean, whatever, I'm not sitting here crying or fanning myself like some sort of delicate flower, but...damn.

But, yes, apology. That's good. Thanks.

t /shutting up now

Why do the people in my office not recognize that my priorities are the ONLY priorities that matter. Geeeesh.

oh, see, I thought that was just me, Maidengurl! When will they ever learn?

Want husband here now. Want turkey dinner soon.

We got upgraded last week when we were at this hotel and now we're in a normal room and it certainly suffers by comparison. Oh, WOE.