Of course, the way we know stuff is poisonous is that somebody died of it once.

Probably a two year old.

Almost everything is too sweet for me, and other than not adding sugar to anything I make at home, I haven't yet found a solution. The collective American sweet tooth is driving the commercial food train right now.

I love desserts, but commercial sweets are generally way sweeter than I think they ought to be.

Actually, ketchup was originally derived from a Chinese picked fish sauce called ke-tsiap. Tomatoes and sugar came later.

It's called "ketchup".

Also called "Papa John's".

whoever thought tomato sauce should be sweet should be shot, though.

It's called "ketchup".

Ironically, the inventor of ketchup was though to have been shot only to be revealed later to have faked his own death with his new fake blood invention. Only later was the fake blood compound to be found to be tasty on french fries.

I think my purpose-driven life does not involve drugs made with red phosphorus, you know? That is what caffeine is for, and caffeinei s a lot less likely to blow up somebody's house.

Also called "Papa John's".

But they also give you peppers and garlic butter. I forgive them.

I think the problem with a lot of tomato sauces is an over-zealous use of what I'm pretty sure is basil, rather than actual sugar.

"God wants you to take a Quaalude, man."

My dad makes yummy beer can chicken--it's very moist, and not unlike beer batter fried chicken, which I've had lots of places. I have made beer- and wine-poached chicken, and they've both turned out great.

As for lobsters, an old boss told me that she and her husband would celebrate their anniversary by buying two lobsters, bringing them home and racing them across the kitchen floor, then the winner is the first one cooked (with the loser quickly following him).

I never got to the meth part of "The Purpose Driven Life".