Hi there.

Don't worry about life after May.

But it looms before me as a specter of failure and fear.

But it looms before me as a specter of failure and fear.

Nah. It's a specter of "now what?". Totally different vibe from failure. Although the fear is quite understandable.

Also, DO NOT listen to the silly people who tell you to go straight into grad school.

sj is, I believe, working at Victoria's Secret now. Where I thought they required you to wear Way Too Much Makeup, but maybe that's just been the personal choice of everyone I've seen working there.

But it looms before me as a specter of failure and fear.

You're looking at it all wrong. It's an opportunity for vodka tonics and interesting adventures. Fabulous mistakes and new lovers. Books yet to be read. Travel. It's an opportunity to come to San Francisco.

See? So much better when you look at it my way. Put your way down and look at it my way. It'll make you happier, and it's probably more accurate.

SA, it will be fine. Hec's way is a good way to look at it.

... and I'm about to send you e-mail. About Stuff.

It's an opportunity for vodka tonics and interesting adventures. Fabulous mistakes and new lovers. Books yet to be read. Travel. It's an opportunity to come to San Francisco.

That is to say, the time to do all of these things... and none of the money necessary to do any of them.

(Well, the lovers, maybe.)

you can get books for free from the library...

I am reading the Wikipedia page of Simpson neologisms and am giggly thinking about floor pie.

[link]

Nah. It's a specter of "now what?". Totally different vibe from failure. Although the fear is quite understandable.

It feels like fear. Mixed with dread. With a dash of bitter.

Well, that's a sucky cocktail.

Also, DO NOT listen to the silly people who tell you to go straight into grad school.

I...probably won't. If nothing else I'd take a year off, but ideally I'll go do something abroad for a couple years and then come back to do the thing. I don't think I could handle another commitment of years to a school.

working at Victoria's Secret now. Where I thought they required you to wear Way Too Much Makeup, but maybe that's just been the personal choice of everyone I've seen working there.

No, they do make you wear make up. A friend is a store manager there--she doesn't wear makeup regularly, but she has to put in on whenever she goes in, and she hates it.

You're looking at it all wrong. It's an opportunity for vodka tonics and interesting adventures. Fabulous mistakes and new lovers. Books yet to be read. Travel. It's an opportunity to come to San Francisco.

Okay, well, your way is better. But it's really hard to shift over there. I, um, wasn't accepted to one of the things I applied for, and I think it's crushed my optimism a little. I mean, there are a million things out there, and most of this is just getting the breaks at this point in time. I just have this Huge Overriding Fear that I will get none of the breaks.

and I'm about to send you e-mail. About Stuff.

I look forward to it.

That is to say, the time to do all of these things... and none of the money necessary to do any of them.

heh. So true.

Also, DO NOT listen to the silly people who tell you to go straight into grad school.

Standing. Right. Here.

But it was the right thing for me, not the right thing for everyone.

Just had a speech therapist visit. Aidan was a total prat, with lots of shouting and kicking; and Kara kept rooting in the woman's bag, swiping stuff, and shouting in the therapist's face. Not one of our stellar events.