Carp.

S-I-L S called a little while ago. One of dh's uncles died this morning. He and his wife were driving home from Canada. He didn't feel well. His wife took the wheel. Apparently he died of a heart attack. My m-i-l (who has had enough worries with her own health, her husbands, and two of her daughters having cancer--one twice in as many years) is heartbroken. I decided to call dh at work and tell him. Now, I'm thinking I made the wrong decision. I feel sorry for him going through the day knowing this, because his workplace is an utter madhouse, right now. I just figured he would want to know, and I figured he'd want to call his mom. He just sounded so beaten down.

I just got off the phone with m-i-l. I think this is the first time in fifteen years I have heard her cry. My f-i-l got home while we were talking, so I let her go.

I volunteered at the school this morning, and because I hadn't yet had enough coffee, I ended up volunteering for lunch room duty at noon, because one of the lunch mother's will be home with her sick kid, and the other is on our Cultural Arts committee and had to go to some demo to choose exhibits/arts-related performers for our school. Now all I want to do is go over my in-laws.

{{{Cindy and her DH's family}}}

I'm so sorry, sweetie.

I'm sorry, Cindy. Do you think "death in my family" would be the sort of thing where they'd get the other volunteer back from the demo or get someone else in to cover for you?

Speaking of parents, I have good news about one of mine. Mom's doctor declared her officially in remission yesterday! She may be home from the rehab. clinic by then end of the week. She's already feeling well enough to find ways to drive me crazy, which is reassuringly familiar. And now that she's officially in remission (typing that never gets old) I'll feel much less guilt stricken when the time comes (soon, very very soon) to tell her to get stuffed. Yay!!!!!

This is AWESOME! I wasn't going to go back and read what I'd missed. I started my last post after s-i-l called, but then my mum called, then I called m-i-l. I am so glad I did. This is so great.

I'm sorry, Cindy. Do you think "death in my family" would be the sort of thing where they'd get the other volunteer back from the demo or get someone else in to cover for you?

Probably, but I'll just do it. If it were my uncle, I probably would get someone else. Now that my f-i-l's home, it feels less urgent. I just worry for my m-i-l. She keeps so much in, and I have just felt for a while that somewhere along the line, her stoic Irish turned very fragile.

Cindy, I'm so sorry for everyone. I feel bad for Scott (eta: Did I get his name right? I had a sudden fear that maybe I got the wrong name) too, although I'm not sure you made the wrong decision. I guess everyone might feel differently, but if it were me, I would want to know.

eta also: Susan, I think you are being a responsible mom. Moms are supposed to watch their kids carefully and then get opinions when they aren't sure. I don't think you are going overboard, but I do think you will be reassured once you have her checked.

I would want to know. He would say he would want to know, but I just know how ground down he is, right now. My guess is there was no right decision. Of course, what I'd really like is to undeaden all the people we all love, who went and got dead, because death really chaps my ass.

Cindy, I'm so sorry. I'm also profoundly grateful he was not at the wheel.

Lots of hugs and love to your whole family.

Thanks, Trudy. And I know what you mean about the driving. I like his wife so well, too. I don't know how close to home they were, or anything, or where she is, right now.

We have few details. My m-i-l got the call from one of her sisters. Her sister is babysitting for her own daughter's kids, because the daughter's dh is in the hospital having surgery, today. Daughter's dh's name is the same as M-i-l's brother's name. When m-i-l first heard, she thought her sister's s-i-l had died.

Okay, that's way too many in-laws. Done now.

{{{Cindy and DH and family}}}

Calli, that is wonderful news about your mom!

juliana, good luck tonight. My DH and I had a habit of fighting right after our sessions -- someone always felt a little raw when we got in the car and we didn't know how to STOP talking after we walked out of the office. It's just something to keep in mind -- you or Z might need to call a time out and process.