{{{Cindy and her DH's family}}}

I'm so sorry, sweetie.

I'm sorry, Cindy. Do you think "death in my family" would be the sort of thing where they'd get the other volunteer back from the demo or get someone else in to cover for you?

Speaking of parents, I have good news about one of mine. Mom's doctor declared her officially in remission yesterday! She may be home from the rehab. clinic by then end of the week. She's already feeling well enough to find ways to drive me crazy, which is reassuringly familiar. And now that she's officially in remission (typing that never gets old) I'll feel much less guilt stricken when the time comes (soon, very very soon) to tell her to get stuffed. Yay!!!!!

This is AWESOME! I wasn't going to go back and read what I'd missed. I started my last post after s-i-l called, but then my mum called, then I called m-i-l. I am so glad I did. This is so great.

I'm sorry, Cindy. Do you think "death in my family" would be the sort of thing where they'd get the other volunteer back from the demo or get someone else in to cover for you?

Probably, but I'll just do it. If it were my uncle, I probably would get someone else. Now that my f-i-l's home, it feels less urgent. I just worry for my m-i-l. She keeps so much in, and I have just felt for a while that somewhere along the line, her stoic Irish turned very fragile.

Cindy, I'm so sorry for everyone. I feel bad for Scott (eta: Did I get his name right? I had a sudden fear that maybe I got the wrong name) too, although I'm not sure you made the wrong decision. I guess everyone might feel differently, but if it were me, I would want to know.

eta also: Susan, I think you are being a responsible mom. Moms are supposed to watch their kids carefully and then get opinions when they aren't sure. I don't think you are going overboard, but I do think you will be reassured once you have her checked.

I would want to know. He would say he would want to know, but I just know how ground down he is, right now. My guess is there was no right decision. Of course, what I'd really like is to undeaden all the people we all love, who went and got dead, because death really chaps my ass.

Cindy, I'm so sorry. I'm also profoundly grateful he was not at the wheel.

Lots of hugs and love to your whole family.

Thanks, Trudy. And I know what you mean about the driving. I like his wife so well, too. I don't know how close to home they were, or anything, or where she is, right now.

We have few details. My m-i-l got the call from one of her sisters. Her sister is babysitting for her own daughter's kids, because the daughter's dh is in the hospital having surgery, today. Daughter's dh's name is the same as M-i-l's brother's name. When m-i-l first heard, she thought her sister's s-i-l had died.

Okay, that's way too many in-laws. Done now.

{{{Cindy and DH and family}}}

Calli, that is wonderful news about your mom!

juliana, good luck tonight. My DH and I had a habit of fighting right after our sessions -- someone always felt a little raw when we got in the car and we didn't know how to STOP talking after we walked out of the office. It's just something to keep in mind -- you or Z might need to call a time out and process.

juliana, good luck tonight. My DH and I had a habit of fighting right after our sessions -- someone always felt a little raw when we got in the car and we didn't know how to STOP talking after we walked out of the office. It's just something to keep in mind -- you or Z might need to call a time out and process.

Scott and I took a marriage course at our church. It's produced by the Anglican church, but isn't actually Christian (or religious) although the values are. It was a series of video based talks, and then dinner, and time to work through the questions (privately, not with a group).

Anyhow, the couple who did the talks said they established a "10 o'clock rule". If they're having a difficult conversation and it is too late at night, and one of the partners does not feel objective enought to continue, one of them will say, "Ten o'clock rule," to the other, and the conversation is postponed until a better time.

We'll both declare the ten o'clock rule at any given time of the day, if the time isn't right. It's saved lives in this house, let me tell you.