Thank you, I appreciate that.

If they name their daughter Dylan, not only am I never mowing the yard again, I'm reseeding with DANDELION SEED.

I think a girl Dylan is way more palatable than, say, Apple Paltrow. Or Kal-El Cage.

(Note to self: do not name potential sprog -- stop laughing, it could happen -- after superheroes and/or their sidekicks.)

(Note to self again: this leaves a lot of supervillain names open. Gorilla Grodd [Lastname]. Darkseid [Lastname]. LADY SHIVA BRAINIAC [Lastname]!!!)

(Addendum: am perhaps feverish. Will reconsider when not crazy.)

Amusingly, if you name something female Shiva, you will get people who are cranky because of Shiva-as-male.

Signed,

Proud owner of Lady Shiva Woo-Sen the cat. Who is always careful to explain that no, the kitten was not named after the god, she was named after the assassin.

Lex Luthor [Lastname]. It's perfect. The alliteration is pure gold.

Note to self: do not name potential sprog -- stop laughing, it could happen -- after superheroes and/or their sidekicks

Aw, no little Peter Parker L--?

Apple Paltrow

You know though, when I heard Gwyneth on the radio saying "Well, Peach is a girl's name, so why not Apple?" I really couldn't think of a good answer. Why is one fruit name merely old-fashioned and the other Baby Celebritylicious? (Note: none of my children will ever be named Apple. Or Grape, Banana, or Nectarine.)

Why is one fruit name merely old-fashioned and the other Baby Celebritylicious?

Because Ugli Fruit Paltrow really IS too mean to stick on a kid.

And just in case it wasn't perfectly clear, my original conversation with my neighbor was entirely jokey on both sides. I didn't bring up the idea of naming a girl Dylan or Ryan-- she did, and the context was, "And those are two we'd never even consider because it'd just feel weird, and y'all would probably kill us." We both laughed about it, and went on to say how we both liked the name Fiona, and wished we knew whether our other neighbors who had a Fiona meant to stay here always, because it'd be weird to have two or three Fionas in the same block, but if we all live different places it's not such an issue. It wasn't a serious conversation, and if my original post made it sound like I was jumping all over C for daring to like androgynous names while I don't, I obviously didn't word it very well.

And I really had honestly forgotten that Jessica wanted to use that name.

Because Ugli Fruit Paltrow really IS too mean to stick on a kid.

Not if he grows up to be a world-famous drag queen. IJS.

Okay, now I desperately want to meet little Gorilla Grodd L--

Bane L-- gets no love at all.