Note to self: do not name potential sprog -- stop laughing, it could happen -- after superheroes and/or their sidekicks

Aw, no little Peter Parker L--?

Apple Paltrow

You know though, when I heard Gwyneth on the radio saying "Well, Peach is a girl's name, so why not Apple?" I really couldn't think of a good answer. Why is one fruit name merely old-fashioned and the other Baby Celebritylicious? (Note: none of my children will ever be named Apple. Or Grape, Banana, or Nectarine.)

Why is one fruit name merely old-fashioned and the other Baby Celebritylicious?

Because Ugli Fruit Paltrow really IS too mean to stick on a kid.

And just in case it wasn't perfectly clear, my original conversation with my neighbor was entirely jokey on both sides. I didn't bring up the idea of naming a girl Dylan or Ryan-- she did, and the context was, "And those are two we'd never even consider because it'd just feel weird, and y'all would probably kill us." We both laughed about it, and went on to say how we both liked the name Fiona, and wished we knew whether our other neighbors who had a Fiona meant to stay here always, because it'd be weird to have two or three Fionas in the same block, but if we all live different places it's not such an issue. It wasn't a serious conversation, and if my original post made it sound like I was jumping all over C for daring to like androgynous names while I don't, I obviously didn't word it very well.

And I really had honestly forgotten that Jessica wanted to use that name.

Because Ugli Fruit Paltrow really IS too mean to stick on a kid.

Not if he grows up to be a world-famous drag queen. IJS.

Okay, now I desperately want to meet little Gorilla Grodd L--

Bane L-- gets no love at all.

I mean, I'm pretty sure Hec and I baffle each other over our reading tastes and how we express them, and maybe even think the other's taste is inferior to our own, but I don't feel like that means we have to stop talking about what books we like and dislike and why.

You think my taste is inferior!?!

Just kidding.

For the record, I'm fine with Dylan decrying the trend of male names being gobbled up as female names, leaving a smaller and smaller pool of boy names (at least by cultural association). And I'm also fine with Jessica naming her future sprog Dylan no matter what the gender.

And I have achieved this zenlike equanimity through meditation vodka.

Dude.

Ra's Al [Lastname]. Yes indeed.

Let's do the porn star names thingy again! (first pet + street you grew up on)

Hello, my name is Fancy Sibley.

lost to women? What's next, sapping your manly humors? Giving you cooties?

Don't even get me started about cooties. Now that I have two women in the house I'm getting daily cootie shots.