A new girl has mysteriously appeared in my Physics class. Gwen's beautiful, smart, and popular. I have the horrible urge to either pledge my undying loyalty or start calling her Mary Sue.

I never felt like I was living in someone elses bad fic before Buffistas came along. But you guys have excellent taste and great advice so....

How do I get rid of a real life Mary Sue?

Emily and vw are being far too virtuous for a Sunday morning.

See, I got woken up at nine freaking o'clock by some combination of the stage being put up outside my window and the dog barking at it (while lying on my bed). And we've put it off so many times, and later today was going to be such a mess with the festival... it just seemed reasonable. I doubt it will ever happen again.

Mary Sues never leave the story until they've fixed the lives of everyone around them, and/or died a tragic and heroic death.

Your only hope is that the story she's in is not yours, so eventually the plot (such as it is) will move her away from you.

How do I get rid of a real life Mary Sue?

Give her an excuse to die tragically saving the hero.

I doubt it will ever happen again.

Oh, yes it will, little missy! If nothing else, 'cause I'm a big, fat (emphasis on the fat) meanie.

The closest thing we have to a hero, is the drug addicted valedictorian who is considered the hero of smokers everywhere, for being smart and high. How's she going to die tragecally with that? Sell herself to the Cuban mafia in exchange for enough weed to get all the campus students high?

Well, she could selflessly take possession of smart!high!person's way-too-large stash right before the police come in, get accused of possession with intent to sell and take the rap, allowing the valedictorian to ace another test in the future. She'd be in jail, at least, if not dead.

Well, she could selflessly take possession of smart!high!person's way-too-large stash right before the police come in, get accused of possession with intent to sell and take the rap, allowing the valedictorian to ace another test in the future. She'd be in jail, at least, if not dead.

...that's brilliant! Even if she becomes the Mary Sue of an all girl cast of Oz, she isn't my problem! This is why I love you guys. You always help me make people mysteriously disappear.

Ah... the influence of Tim.

Even if she become the Mary Sue of a all girl cast of Oz, she isn't my problem!

diet Coke. in sinuses.

diet Coke. in sinuses.

If Gwendolyn Skyes was here, she would offer you a handkerchief, apologise that a joke harmed your sinuses, and hug you with a gentleness that would warm the blackest of hearts. I would then after be forced to leave the room, vomit quietly in the bathroom, and try to find a way to plant some crack cocain on her.

I seem to be the only one to recognize her as pure evil and tell people about it. This probably means I'm in her plot. Curses.