How do I get rid of a real life Mary Sue?

Give her an excuse to die tragically saving the hero.

I doubt it will ever happen again.

Oh, yes it will, little missy! If nothing else, 'cause I'm a big, fat (emphasis on the fat) meanie.

The closest thing we have to a hero, is the drug addicted valedictorian who is considered the hero of smokers everywhere, for being smart and high. How's she going to die tragecally with that? Sell herself to the Cuban mafia in exchange for enough weed to get all the campus students high?

Well, she could selflessly take possession of smart!high!person's way-too-large stash right before the police come in, get accused of possession with intent to sell and take the rap, allowing the valedictorian to ace another test in the future. She'd be in jail, at least, if not dead.

Well, she could selflessly take possession of smart!high!person's way-too-large stash right before the police come in, get accused of possession with intent to sell and take the rap, allowing the valedictorian to ace another test in the future. She'd be in jail, at least, if not dead.

...that's brilliant! Even if she becomes the Mary Sue of an all girl cast of Oz, she isn't my problem! This is why I love you guys. You always help me make people mysteriously disappear.

Ah... the influence of Tim.

Even if she become the Mary Sue of a all girl cast of Oz, she isn't my problem!

diet Coke. in sinuses.

diet Coke. in sinuses.

If Gwendolyn Skyes was here, she would offer you a handkerchief, apologise that a joke harmed your sinuses, and hug you with a gentleness that would warm the blackest of hearts. I would then after be forced to leave the room, vomit quietly in the bathroom, and try to find a way to plant some crack cocain on her.

I seem to be the only one to recognize her as pure evil and tell people about it. This probably means I'm in her plot. Curses.

VW, is she doing voices? She should be doing voices.

Also, I need a link (doesn't have to be hot, so as to avoid reflog traffic) to the Sentinal Giant Cat stories.

seem to be the only one to recognize her as pure evil and tell people about it. This probably means I'm in her plot.

You're the character the author doesn't like. You'll be proved wrong in the end, and abandoned by all your other friends for being so wrongheaded as to doubt her.

In other cat news, I bought JZ Jenny and the Cat Club yesterday, since it is recently back in print. This would be Jenny Linsky the Greenwich Village cat who is owned by Captain Tinker, who made her a red scarf.

We also picked up The Bears' Famous Invasion of Sicily which was from the same series, The New York Review Children's Collection which reprints quirky cool old kid's books in lovely clothbound editions.

Hec, K-Bug was sad to have missed you two. She was off wandering the stadium with her boyfriend. She remembers you as "the guy that bought her outrageously expensive chocolate".

I am that guy. And was also sad to have missed her. Drag her back into the city sometime and I'll buy her more chocolate.

I am sorry to see so many Buffistae beset with family traumas and tragedies.

Also jealous of Laura and Alibelle et al and their Jazz Cruise (with extra added Jazz Hands?).

I'm very sore from Emmett's birthday as entertaining a pack of feral 9 y.o. boys is arduous work and involves lots of pitching tennis balls and pelting each other and bicycle chases and footballl throwing. The gift giving portion was a success with the iPod shuffle saved for last and earning a full chous of "WoooOooo" followed by the repeated declaration, "You are SO lucky!"

After cleanup, JZ and I didn't have time to squeeze in The Corpse Bride so we dallied in a bar in the Rockridge neighborhood, and had spectacular margaritas while we watched the A's hold onto a win. Then we went to the christening, where I saw all her relatives that came to our wedding more than a year ago. They were all predisposed to liking me since the wedding had been a big hit, so that made things easier. Plus tasty food.

JZ's cousin Damian and his wife Monica were the hosting parents, and their son Evan was getting christened. He was the most curiously attentive baby and oddly into the whole proceeding. He has twin big brothers, aged 2 1/2, and one of them had been run over by a pony at a pony ride previousy that week and gotten badly gashed on the forehead. It would've been funny if it hadn't been so scary. A real close call.

The parents had hired a clown, Buki, to keep the many kids in attendance entertained. Monica came by later and pronounced, "Buki's the bomb! Buki killed!" The children were no match for Buki's hypno entertainment powers.