The people I don't understand are the child haters.

I understand not wanting to be a parent, and I understand not liking certain children, or certain groups of children--because it's exactly the same as not liking certain adults, and certain groups of adults.

I understand not wanting to be surrounded by large groups of children (boy, do I ever). I understand eschewing "family" restaurants and other places, in favor of those places that have a more adult atmosphere. I understand not choosing to, in general, do many things where there are likely to be a lot of kids around.

But the child haters confuse me, I suppose because we all start out that way. I'm thinking in particular of what you see in some child-free fora at lj, particularly the hardcore ones. There's so much hatred towards children (and parents, which I actually understand more, because I figure it's a likely combination of personal family issues, and too much contact with rude parents who think everyone in sight is supposed to tend to or focus on their children, and who let their kids run wild). It's a weird sort of ageism, I guess.

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Nora, I thought maybe you deleted it because you decided not to talk about it

I deleted it because I thought I was being inappropriately stupid, whining, and churlish. Also, I was afraid it might be misconstrued as anti-baby. (like how I fear my pro-elopment stance makes me sound like a fuckhole to people who had lovely non-elopement ceremonies and receptions)

Basically I suck, therefore I delete.

Man, I'm in a crapshit of a mood today. Between the Zogby poll and the Gretna reports I am just... ready to go home and drink I guess.

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Funnily enough, it wasn't until a couple of weeks ago that it really really hit me that I hadn't HAD to ever have children at all. It was a startling realization.... many years too late, of course.

{{Nora}}

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I understand not liking certain children, or certain groups of children--because it's exactly the same as not liking certain adults, and certain groups of adults.

I've seen more of this than anything else.

I don't care for child hating either. I don't like those forums. I will sympathize with tales of asshole parents raising asshole children, though.

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I hate "Alistair", JZ. I hate to tell you this since we don't talk that often, and your covers are lovely, but it would take all the blue-eyed soul on the planet Earth to cut through that much, um, "weenie" as that name gives off, babe. Of course the last thing I named was a kitty and all my characters are "James" "Katherine" "Tommy" because mostly I don't want their names to stand out that much and I run into a lot of people named the same things. So, grain of salt, but I wouldn't feel like a good Bitch if I wasn't honest.

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"wait, everyone else on earth wants kids but me?" hits and I feel like a total dork who missed the hormonal memo.

I've known I didn't want kids since I was about six. I am delighted to be the wacky, non-family aunt to all of my friends' kidlings (Yay Tickybox!), but being around very cute babies has not filled me with the urge to have one of my very own.

I am still clinging to the belief that SOMEONE I know will name one of their offspring 'Clovis'. It will happen, even if I have to help the Devilbunny up the power on the mind-control lasers.

The people I don't understand are the child haters.

A friend of mine is One of Those. I finally had to tell her that I wasn't going to put up with her spouting vitrol about kids around me; yes, some parents need to be more in control of their children, but that doesn't mean that all parents and kids are worthy of spite and acid-filled rants.

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I will sympathize with tales of asshole parents raising asshole children, though.

And as a parent - so will I. Asshats should not beget asshats.

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amen, Aimee.

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Funnily enough, it wasn't until a couple of weeks ago that it really really hit me that I hadn't HAD to ever have children at all. It was a startling realization.... many years too late, of course.

I don't think I was ever aware of being expected to have kids growing up. I was 18 when my niece was born though and after seeing me with her, my step-mom especially wanted me to sprog. But she just doesn't get that I can be that patient because I can give. them. back.

I understand not wanting to be a parent, and I understand not liking certain children, or certain groups of children--because it's exactly the same as not liking certain adults, and certain groups of adults.

I don't really like kids unless I know them. And I will avoid them, in restaurants and theatres and on vacations, when possible. But I don't hate kids, I just don't like them. Kinda like I am with dogs, I like specific dogs but I don't want to ever have a dog of my own or be around strange dogs. Um, not that children are animals. Just that it was the analogy my brain came up with.

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Hmmm. I'm vacillating between "Parenthood would be really nifty"* and "I/we have so much yet to do! Also, a child would probably break us financially". I think part of it is the stability that is (finally!) allowing me to think long-term, and part of it is ZOMGI'm30myeggswillbedonesoon!!1!-type panic.

Z is mostly on the "Children, nah" side, and it makes me sad every once in a while to think that we probably won't sprog.

I don't know. That sounds more vacillating and whiny than ever, doesn't it?

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• note: I do not think parenthood would be easy or always fun. I sometimes think it would be nifty, though.

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