Funnily enough, it wasn't until a couple of weeks ago that it really really hit me that I hadn't HAD to ever have children at all. It was a startling realization.... many years too late, of course.

I don't think I was ever aware of being expected to have kids growing up. I was 18 when my niece was born though and after seeing me with her, my step-mom especially wanted me to sprog. But she just doesn't get that I can be that patient because I can give. them. back.

I understand not wanting to be a parent, and I understand not liking certain children, or certain groups of children--because it's exactly the same as not liking certain adults, and certain groups of adults.

I don't really like kids unless I know them. And I will avoid them, in restaurants and theatres and on vacations, when possible. But I don't hate kids, I just don't like them. Kinda like I am with dogs, I like specific dogs but I don't want to ever have a dog of my own or be around strange dogs. Um, not that children are animals. Just that it was the analogy my brain came up with.

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Hmmm. I'm vacillating between "Parenthood would be really nifty"* and "I/we have so much yet to do! Also, a child would probably break us financially". I think part of it is the stability that is (finally!) allowing me to think long-term, and part of it is ZOMGI'm30myeggswillbedonesoon!!1!-type panic.

Z is mostly on the "Children, nah" side, and it makes me sad every once in a while to think that we probably won't sprog.

I don't know. That sounds more vacillating and whiny than ever, doesn't it?

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• note: I do not think parenthood would be easy or always fun. I sometimes think it would be nifty, though.

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like how I fear my pro-elopment stance makes me sound like a fuckhole to people who had lovely non-elopement ceremonies and receptions

Dude, I had a lovely NEC&R, and I'm pro-elopment as a result.

The hateful people in the Child Free movement, the ones who complain about the added benefits people with children supposedly get from jobs, and who call kids "crotch droppings" make me want to kick them in the head, repeatedly.

That said, I can understand not wanting kids, and think it's a perfectly delightful choice, just not the one I made.

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"I/we have so much yet to do! Also, a child would probably break us financially".

You're never ready for kids. They're cool though.

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a friend of mine wrote about this for Salon way back when, and she still gets notes from perfect strangers.

That was a great article.

"wait, everyone else on earth wants kids but me?" hits and I feel like a total dork who missed the hormonal memo.

I can identify with that. I don't want kids, never have. Most people respond with, "Oh, you'll change your mind." I'm 37 years old. When is this mind change supposed to happen?

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note: I do not think parenthood would be easy or always fun. I sometimes think it would be nifty, though.

It is that! Though not easy or always fun.

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What's funny and sometimes maddening is that Tom's dr. won't give him a vasectomy and mine won't give me an IUD because we're too young and those are options for "families." i.e., people with children.

Ah, well, the Nuva ring works fine, and is covered by insurance. I'd buy it full price anyway (and have).

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I'm still not sure. Coffee first, maybe? :) Although I'm thinking at this rate, probably not. Could happen, I suppose.

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"crotch droppings"

That's just foul. Why do people suck? If I were them growing up I'd have hated children too. If that makes sense. Which it doesn't, really.

I don't get the child hate at all. Jeez, you don't even have the stress of raising kids, why are you raising you blood pressure over every little thing ANYWAY??

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"crotch droppings"

gnnnng. I had to ask someone not to use that term in my presence. And they didn't get WHY I might not approve of it. "But you don't want kids! Why should you care what I call them?!"

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