Okay, I had to fast forward through the Vegas stuff in Swingers.
Vegas, baby, VEGAS!!!
Teppy, I thought of you at the wedding we attended on Saturday.
Man, my annoyance at my aunts' bad behavior has only grown now that I've slept on it. Particularly the great-aunt who told me I needed to be the same size as my size-2 SiL.
Nobody -- okay, from this moment on (and now I sound like buttmonkey Xander) -- nobody gets to say *anything* about my weight where I can hear it, and if they do, regardless of who says it, even if it's my 80-something great-aunt, I am KICKING THEIR ASS.
Two exceptions exist: (1) if I actually ask "Hey, do I look like a manatee today?" and (2) if my rolls of fat are overtaking the world and flopping out of my clothing such that someone's pet/medication/hand is trapped under the aforementioned rolls; then they may say something like, "Excuse me, but I think my chihuahua is under your fat roll. No, the other one. No, the *other* other one."
Otherwise, they die bloody. Leave my fat rolls alone, evil family.
Particularly the great-aunt who told me I needed to be the same size as my size-2 SiL.
It's completely obnoxious. Nothing mitigating unless her brain is addled.
Two exceptions exist: (1) if I actually ask "Hey, do I look like a manatee today?"
Honestly, maybe not even then. "Yo, do I look fat?" "YES YOU DO." That's not right.
Nothing mitigating unless her brain is addled.
Nope. She's still as sharp as a tack. And apparently she has fucked her lovely granddaughter up about her weight, too.
My family, it turns out, is so completely from HELL.
(I have a headache and I'm just a wee bit cranky today, in case no one could tell.)
Go, Teppy!
I never understand the way people seem to think that they need to point out to you facts about yourself. "Your'e still single." (even without the "Does that mean there's something wrong with you, since nobody wants you?"). "You're too fat/thin/wearing big glasses/looks in any way different than what these people think is the One Right Way to look" (in a brit of a cousin's son a month ago, a second-aunt told me that I still look like I did when I was 16 years old, and she managed to make it sound like a really bad thing).
Um, I won't get into the whole list, OK? I was counting those sort of sayings on that brit I mentioned as a way to keep me entertained, but I don't think b.org should be submitted to it.
Two exceptions exist: (1) if I actually ask "Hey, do I look like a manatee today?"
Honestly, maybe not even then. "Yo, do I look fat?" "YES YOU DO." That's not right.
True -- but in accordance with exception #1, if *I* am the one who initiates the question, the other person is allowed to speak of my weight. Though that's a good point -- #1a will be that they're only allowed to say things like "Well, now that you mention it, you do look a little puffy...."
But not like Puffy, because, frankly, that would just be weird.
Fiona, the bath picture is making me very, very dead.
But not like Puffy, because, frankly, that would just be weird.
You mean Diddy, right?
Mr. Combs, you betcha.
