What is your childhood trauma?

Cordelia ,'Lessons'


Natter 37: Oddly Enough, We've Had This Conversation Before.  

Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, duct tape, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.


Steph L. - Aug 12, 2005 11:38:11 am PDT #7812 of 10002
I look more rad than Lutheranism

In sum: I suspect that romantic love may be a subset of sex with a lot of higher cortical function dancing around madly trying to distract us from this unflattering truth.

I agree with this completely, but I think the key word here is subset. Because seeing someone with a cute butt on the street and thinking "Break me off a piece of THAT" isn't love. Unless I've been doing it wrong all this time.

I think a Venn diagram is called for here.


erikaj - Aug 12, 2005 11:40:01 am PDT #7813 of 10002
Always Anti-fascist!

From my experience, love at first sight, nah. But actually that is a confusing question for me, as I have attractions off the internets often...is the first f2f meeting "first sight" because by then I've known what's in the package, if not the Package, for some time. If first sight means first f2f than yeah, maybe.


bon bon - Aug 12, 2005 11:42:40 am PDT #7814 of 10002
It's five thousand for kissing, ten thousand for snuggling... End of list.

In sum: I suspect that romantic love may be a subset of sex with a lot of higher cortical function dancing around madly trying to distract us from this unflattering truth.

I disagree, if what you're saying is that love is some kind of masked sexual attraction. And if not, please clarify.


Kat - Aug 12, 2005 11:44:31 am PDT #7815 of 10002
"I keep to a strict diet of ill-advised enthusiasm and heartfelt regret." Leigh Bardugo

But what I'm trying to do is sever romantic love from the physical attraction equation. It's a whole different vibe.

For some. But there is some choice even in my physical attraction stuff. Some of it is petty and stupid and some of it isn't. Like, maybe, kicked a cat or a dog = off the physical attraction. Or, has a great voice, henh, I like voices. Or my favorite, likes me first = I am attracted back.

But it's been since I was 16 since I was attracted to someone who was toxic for me. And that pretty much taught me that I should be careful and picky about choosing people to even think about getting groiny with.

(and admittedly, I'm a control freak who grew up in the Midwestern House of Suppression.)


Sparky1 - Aug 12, 2005 11:45:20 am PDT #7816 of 10002
Librarian Warlord

But, how is that the show's fault?

I dunno. I think it would be interesting to read the pleadings and see what the language in the contract is.


Topic!Cindy - Aug 12, 2005 11:46:59 am PDT #7817 of 10002
What is even happening?

Or my favorite, likes me first = I am attracted back.
Hee!


Kat - Aug 12, 2005 11:47:55 am PDT #7818 of 10002
"I keep to a strict diet of ill-advised enthusiasm and heartfelt regret." Leigh Bardugo

It saves a lot of time and some angst, Cindy. That's what being 16 and attracted to Chris L. taught me.


Topic!Cindy - Aug 12, 2005 11:48:41 am PDT #7819 of 10002
What is even happening?

I hear ya. I learned it well from David M., Kat.


§ ita § - Aug 12, 2005 11:48:45 am PDT #7820 of 10002
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.

it's been since I was 16 since I was attracted to someone who was toxic for me. And that pretty much taught me that I should be careful and picky about choosing people to even think about getting groiny with.

I've been attracted to a number of guys with whom a relationship would have been a mistake. I've acted upon some of those attractions, eschewed the relationship, and was perfectly fine with how things turned out. I'm very comfortable with separating the two, and have been told that's a bad thing ... but I'd've had so much less fun that way.

As for the dog-kicking thing .. there are personality things that can detract from lust -- but I don't equate lust and physical attraction, because I can't envision a realistic opportunity to go from watching a guy to sleeping with him without any personality inbetween. So...lust. Dog-kicking would nix that. Other relationship-killing behaviours mightn't, since that's not what I was signing them up for.


juliana - Aug 12, 2005 11:49:36 am PDT #7821 of 10002
I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I miss them all tonight…

Or my favorite, likes me first = I am attracted back.

This is the catalyst for most of my relationships. I'm a wimp.