Wash ,'Objects In Space'
Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, duct tape, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.
Jesse, upthread you mentioned state mandated reporter. Given that I am one, I would NEVER think to report statutory rape. I know I need to report abuse, but I don't know where statutory rape is (if it is considered abuse or not).
Oddly, I also am not mandated to report self-mutilation, like cutting.
And I don't. I do let the parents know (if I think I can) and I let the school psychologist and the school social worker know, but I don't report it as abuse to the state.
But Robin, because your mother was an adult and had more resources to handle her situation is precisely why she was capable of deciding to not to tell her mother.
Nobody's telling your kid NOT to tell you anything, Cindy.No, but when doctors are allowed to operate on a child without notifying the parent, they are contributing to her unhealthy, but fairly normal inclination that this is something she should keep a secret. I want to be told even, and maybe even especially, if she doesn't want me to know. That's *part* of the problem, and maybe it would be my fault, and I'd need to address it.
Even in a loving, open family, it's hard for a 16 year old to admit not being perfect sometimes.Exactly. And the fight against parental notification reinforces that notion, and sometimes not for the best. You know who else helps kids keep secrets that they don't want to upset their parents with? Child molesters.
But the people who want parental notification are also trying to legislate people's families.I see it as them trying to protect the right a parent has to fulfill his responsiblity to his child.
If someone here wanted to argue the age of consent for sex, abortion, birth control, and marriage should be changed, because, as Sue mentions, children slowly grow into control of their lives, I wouldn't be arguing that (well, age dependent) in the same way.
But during that period in which my children are my responsibility, I do get some say (or should, that is) and should get to know when something so big happens to my child, whether my child wants me to know, or not. Because frankly, barring simultaneous failure of birth control pills and condoms, the odds are, the kids judgment wasn't stellar, if she conceived, in the first place, when she didn't want to, and with someone else who also didn't want a child.
They are trying to take away my right to parent my child
No, they aren't. They're trying to give your child the right that every other American, regardless of age, is meant to have under the Constitution -- the right to privacy. It's not about taking anything away from the parents, and frankly, abortion is about the pregnant woman, not her family.
People, in the name of choice, are taking away some of my choices, and leaving some children with a false sense that they can't go to their families for help.
But a law that doesn't require parental notification isn't a law that forbids the girl to tell her parents anything. She can tell them if she wants, but such a law would mean she isn't required to.
If a girl having an abortion is a member of a supportive family, then wouldn't they have raised her up in such a way that she would know she could go to them? Then the law that doesn't require notification isn't impinging on any parental rights, because the child is going to be open and honest anyway.
Given that I am one, I would NEVER think to report statutory rape. I know I need to report abuse, but I don't know where statutory rape is.
I think I was using it as a reason why the girl raped by her stepfather isn't left in the dark. If she tells her medical provider, they have to report that.
Here, make this big decision all by yourself
She made the decision to have sex all by herself.
And ultimately, your kid is now a mother, making a decision about her own child (whether or not to give birth to it), and your rights to know or do anything about her child are nil. You're just a potential grandparent, and as such, have no rights or say over the fetus.
If you are informed before, you can prevent her from exercising her right.
If you want your child to inform you, and wouldn't stop her, then you can talk to your kid about that, and hope it sticks, and she does tell you.
She has a right to decide whether or not she's going to become a mother, without your consent, approval, or knowledge. All you can do is arm her with enough knowledge and love before she hits the age where she can become pregnant, and continue to do so for as long as you both live.
Given that the stakes for parental notification can be deadly to the child, I think it should be handled the way it is--like serious emotional problems. A 14-year-old can go to a shrink without telling her family and tell him she's a cutter andhe can urge her to talk about it with her family, but he can't make her, because if he could make her, she might never seek therapy in the first place.
She made the decision to have sex all by herself.
Yes, and at least some of the decisions surrounding that event were lacking, or she wouldn't be faced with an unwanted pregnancy in the first place. There's a reason there are consent laws. You (as an adult) can't give consent to having sex, if you are drunk, because your judgment is impaired. At at least some ages prior to becoming an adult, you are also incapable of giving consent to sex.
But with parental notification (not parental consent) laws that do not require parental consent for an abortion, you cannot (legally) stop your child from having an abortion, any more than you can (legally) stop random adult woman from having an abortion.
I think I was using it as a reason why the girl raped by her stepfather isn't left in the dark.
Ah. Statutory rape and rape by stepfather are not the exact same thing.
I'm now looking up what else I'm supposed to be reporting.
Another teacher and I were just talking about all the things we do observe that we never report to the parent, in part because school life is, in adolescence, a place where students can try things on, practice decisions and it should be separate from what I am bound to tell parents.
And frankly, most kids won't talk to their parents, but they will talk to other adults,, even techers. And I like to hold that info in trust if I can for as much as I can. Though there are things I do tell parents.
Cindy, I don't think you can equate being 13 with being drunk or high on ludes and be serious.
Allyson, I am not equating them. I am saying there are laws that state that certain people are unable to give consent.