Bye Maidengurl!

I bake a perfect cake, but I can’t iron to save myself

Fay is me. Fay is actually remarkably me, except we'd be forever divided by the serial comma.

I would much rather have a perfect cake than a pressed anything.

I'm so bad at ironing that I have a bedskirt that needs washing and therefore ironing and I'm thinking of asking the dry cleaner if he does bedskirts. I know it's just flat ironing, but the prospect fills me with loathing. I also tend to iron it more wrinkles than I iron out. It appalls my mother, who likes to point out that she ironed her brothers' uniforms during WWII.

Now I totally want to date Fay. Except I'm not in her age range. And married. And not gay. But if I was....

I would much rather have a perfect cake than a pressed anything.

Yes. Isn't that some sort of universal truth?

I'm trying to remember the last time I used the iron. I think it was when I was embossing bats on a velvet skirt.

Heh. Apparently I'm only an 84% match for myself. Which is unfortunate.

I'm trying to remember the last time I used the iron. I think it was when I was embossing bats on a velvet skirt.

Now that's a good reason to use an iron. I think the last time I used the iron was about 12 months ago. Mind you, our cleaning lady irons for us now, but she's actually worse at it than I am, and we're thinking about hiding the iron. I don't actually burn things, or melt plastic designs into interesting and less attractive plastic designs. She does, bless her. But we're both so grateful to have things cleaned and tidied up a bit that neither of us likes to mention it.

My friend who is having bariatric surgery tells me that afterwards she will never be able to eat cake again.

Not even a smidgen.

Not a crumb.

NEVER.

Ever.

Of course I would date Fay...if she wouldn't mind if I slipped up and typed "Kay" sometimes, due to dueling obsessions.

I know I've used my iron, because I remember thinking "man, that's a crappy iron." But I couldn't tell you how long ago that was.