I have a beautiful wonderful daughter to show for it. I have a wonderful, loving husband that adores me and would do anything for me

And how many in the wedding party can say that?

Indeed, how many in the wedding party can turn to people in time zones all over the world for positive reinforcement?

Not a lot, and for that, I am so incredibly grateful and I know how lucky I am in those respects.

I feel like becuase I'm not a size 4 and I don't have $$ falling out of my Dooney & Burke tote, that I'm not worthy and not good enough and basically a piece of shit. Not true, I know in my mind, but it FEELS true.

Aimee, it's good that you recognize that this old issue could be feeding the current one, BUT -- and while I only know you and not the other people involved, I still think I'm right -- BUT the MoH is being a thoughtless, rude cow.

Even if some of your current feelings are being fueld by old feelings, that doesn't mean your reaction is wrong, because I don't think it is.

And by "reaction," I don't mean "feeling like the poor relation" -- because you ain't, and I think you know that in your brain, if not in your gut -- by "reaction," I mean "thinking that MoH is being a thoughtless rude cow by expecting everyone else to drop the kind of cash she's willing to, or, if need be, go further into debt just to play along with her Perfect Bridal Shower Fantasy."

BUT the MoH is being a thoughtless, rude cow.

Ain't no amount of past high school popularity changes this fact. She is a thoughtless, rude cow.

She is a thoughtless, rude cow.

She is indeed. People can go $200,000.00 into debt to buy the world's largest collection of ant farms if it makes them happy, but expecting other people to throw money they don't have around so the MoH can say, "What a fabulous shower I planned for you!" is entirely unreasonable. And I get the impression that that's what it's about--not giving the bride a chance to chill with her buds, but making the MoH feel like she won some mythical MoH of the Year award. Screw her.

making the MoH feel like she won some mythical MoH of the Year award

Or she's secretly playing to the mythical TLC cameras in the corner that are filming everything for a special on Amazing Bridal Showers!

I really relate to that Aimee. Talked to my dad for the first time in months. Even when we both tryour best, it's so like Latka speaking English. "yes. No. Coke Pepsi." frustrating.

Aims, you are awesome, and everyone else can suck it.

Aimee, it's good that you recognize that this old issue could be feeding the current one, BUT -- and while I only know you and not the other people involved, I still think I'm right -- BUT the MoH is being a thoughtless, rude cow

Wrod.

I totally get what you are saying about the older issues. I exorcized a lot of those same demons at my 10-year reunion, but they left their greasy little fingerprints all over my brain even so. I think Emily hit it right on the button, though, that this exercize is about the MoH's insecurity issues. I'm sure she feels inadequate herself, and doesn't have a Joe, or an Em, or the Buffistas to let her know she's actually loved and cool. (Probably because she isn't).

ack... so many of the people I know are one paycheck away from disaster. and the best are about 6 pay checks ( 3 months) from disaster. So if someone says - too expensive, I believe them. could you afford a 30 dollar dinner , maybe. but when it means you can't order in pizza for 2 for three weeks, It really might not be worth it.