Gud, I am so sorry. I hope some forward momentum happens soon, for both your sakes. Being in a limbo of hurt and angry feelings is the loneliest and saddest feeling in the world.

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I feel like things are sort of my fault right now because when I try to do things to improve the situation I feel like I'm going through the motions rather than really having the emotion behind it and when I do that it doesn't work.

Maybe that's part of the problem, but I wouldn't call that your (or anyone's) fault. I'm really sorry things are going hard for you two, and hopefully this too shall pass, but try not to beat yourself up any more than you have to.

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I feel like things are sort of my fault right now because when I try to do things to improve the situation I feel like I'm going through the motions rather than really having the emotion behind it and when I do that it doesn't work.

Sometimes, you have to fake it 'til you make it. You always talk about her being angry with you, though. What sorts of things is she angry about? I don't mean for you to tell us--unless you need to--but I'm not asking in a prying sort of way, I'm just asking, because I always read her anger as her issue, not the fault of anything you're doing. Now granted, I wouldn't know her if I Xposted with her, so I'm biased. But you just seem like such a good guy. You're always working hard. You play with your kids. You do stuff around the house.

Are you doing anything that is just the two of you? Sometimes, there are problems that need to be worked on and out, and I suspect you're having those. But aside from the hard working parts of it, it never hurts to date each other--just have a break from the children, no matter how delightful they are, and just be grown ups, together, on a regular basis. A little dinner and a movie. Drinks and dancing. Even just hanging out together, without the kids.

Gah. Speaking of...I want to kidnap my husband and do all those things, right now.

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Whoa...if Juliana looks like Bowie crossed with S. Manson, even her good pictures don't really capture it. Cause that'd be cool. must see j. in person soon! And I bet Miranda from SATC is a Mile-High member. She bitched about her hair, but still.(Although she did feel insecure about not being invited to three-way, so maybe not.) Aw, Gud, I'm sorry. Every bit of happiness and peace, there, bunk.

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You always talk about her being angry with you, though. What sorts of things is she angry about?

Not having the emotion. Faking it doesn't really work, she can tell. There are a number of other things that have made her angry. Having to stay late at work, not hearing her correctly, not doing housework, asking what she wants for dinner, and other little things.

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Oh, Gud. I'm so sorry. That's so hard, and I don't know how else you could handle the work thing. I mean, when you have to work, you have to work.

Does she work outside the home?

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No, she's a SAHM

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Asking what she wants for dinner? I don't see what is angry-making in that.

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I'm a sahm. Dh helps (a lot) but I don't think I get mad at him when he doesn't or can't. We mostly have an inside (me)/outside (him) split with chores (and we're both not top notch about getting things done in a timely manner, so we generally try to shut up about the other person's sins of omission). What sort of housework are you talking about?

Asking what she wants for dinner? I don't see what is angry-making in that.

Gotta agree with Robin, here. Please someone, ask me what I want for dinner.

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Asking what she wants for dinner? I don't see what is angry-making in that.

It's complicated and passive aggressive.

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