I explained it twice, and she said she still didn't understand, so I finally said, "You don't have to understand, I've got it taken care of," which is so my favorite thing I've said today.

Good for you! With any luck, saying such things will become easier and easier. Also, if you haven't already, thank her effusively for giving you the phone number of the relative in SF and emphasize that this is the sort of help you can use.

Sounds like things are shaking out relatively well, P-C. If it makes your parents happy to window shop for a bride for you, well, there's not a whole lot you can do about that. It is kind of nice that they're looking for someone who might have similar interests.

I'm 37 and I still get the "what are you wearing you can't really be planning on wearing that" from my mom for important occasions.

I'm glad the conversation ended on a fairly calm note.

That does sound much better, P-C. This:

I explained it twice, and she said she still didn't understand, so I finally said, "You don't have to understand, I've got it taken care of," which is so my favorite thing I've said today.

makes me terribly happy.

The marriage thing is too far outside my experience for me to comment. But good luck with reaching an outcome you will be happy with.

The kids are out on a trip today. NO LUNCH! And I didn't eat breakfast.

Damn.

"You don't have to understand, I've got it taken care of,"

very nice. this should be your rule. Explain once, maybe twice and then use that line.

How many do you think you'll be introduced to on this vacation? Actually, I just let them introduce you to Girls. That could be fun. Just be upfront about the whole not ready to get married with the girls.

Do your homework before the Trip - see if you can get even an informational interview set up. It should look good to your family.

and be prepared for them to bring up moving again.

She asked me if I'd talked to the realtor, and I explained about not being able to break the lease and having to find a subletter. I explained it twice, and she said she still didn't understand, so I finally said, "You don't have to understand, I've got it taken care of," which is so my favorite thing I've said today.

I'm so proud of you, Sunil!

P-C, what a joy to read. And I don't think that this:

"You don't have to understand, I've got it taken care of," which is so my favorite thing I've said today.

and this

She said she'd tell my dad to book the ticket, and when she hung up, she said, "Love you," and I reciprocated, "Love you," which was weird because I don't think I'd said it in a very long while, but it's much easier to say after a conversation when neither of us is yelling or crying.

are unrelated. Hard as it may be for them, you're showing them the adult you are, rather than the boy you were, and look what happened - your Mom responded on more-or-less the same level. And of course the subject will come up again, but maybe you can both begin to see that taking your own path and making your own decisions doesn't have to mean hurting each other. I was thinking about your sister this morning actually - I think you're so lucky that you have someone on the ground, so to speak, who can help drive the message home.

And hey, meeting girls is never a bad thing, just as long as you're still making your own decisions at the end of the day.

P-C, sounds like things went fairly well.

"You don't have to understand, I've got it taken care of,"

Just to repeat -- an excellent statement.

And hey, meeting girls is never a bad thing, just as long as you're still making your own decisions at the end of the day.

Seconding this, too. Nothing wrong per se with your parents introducing you to women. As long as you remember that the final decision is yours, based on criteria that you set.

she mentioned checking out some of the pharmaceutical companies in North Carolina while we were there.

Mixed response to this one. Good -- recognizing that you can't take a long break from the job search. Bad -- feels like the sort of compromise that seemed so disturbing yesterday.

And then she launched into a whole thing about wearing nice clothes because people judge you on your ratty clothes

Er, um, true but you should already know how to dress for a job interview.

Hi Bitches!

P-C, I'm glad to read things are better between parents and you today. I'm pushing for the totally deserved Great Job and Great Girl in the near future. My inclinations say Gujarati or otherwise for the chicky, but if you find somebody your parents will be satisfied with who you also adore, even best.

ION, I'm in a really good mood considering I have to take a stupid final and write a bunch of lesson plans (a task I still find terrifying) today.

Bravo, Sunil. Just... bravo. Way to take charge. Keep it up. Seriously.