{{{P-C}}} Everyone is wise.

Definitly look into a temp agency, you're smart, have computer skills, can type, so you're perfect for some kind of temp office job. Let them know you'll take anything (pretty much) and then do it.

Plus you never know where something will lead, you might end up meeting someone, who has connections in science or writing.

Call it networking when you talk to your parents.

Wait - there's no "leave everything as it was yesterday" option, with your lease expiring in November?

My lease doesn't expire in November; I renewed it for this coming year back in November. Rental season in Ann Arbor starts early. My renewed lease starts in a couple weeks, and that's the one I can't get out of unless I void it before it starts.

Bull. I haven't seen anyone in my immediate family since June 1993.

I know there are people who cut themselves off from their families. That's not the way Indian culture works. I don't know, maybe I'm being wishy washy by actually wanting to be a part of my family but still retaining some semblance of independence.

P-C, do you know any professors who might be able to give you a line on short-term local work in or near your field?

I'm going to see if anyone needs a tech, now that Plan B needs to be put into effect, apparently.

Call it networking when you talk to your parents.

OR tell your folks they get to know anything about your life again when they can respect it is your life and then stop taking their calls!

I know there are people who cut themselves off from their families. That's not the way Indian culture works. I don't know, maybe I'm being wishy washy by actually wanting to be a part of my family but still retaining some semblance of independence.

I don't think that is wishy washy. It sounds like a trip home soon might be a good idea, but wanting to see your family and be a part of that family, does not require you move home.

That's not the way Indian culture works. I don't know, maybe I'm being wishy washy by actually wanting to be a part of my family but still retaining some semblance of independence.

My suggestion?

"Mom, Dad, I'd love to spend time with you. The Nth week of X month would work for me.... No, sorry, two weeks at the beginning of August doesn't work, since I'm hoping to have some job interviews then."

Maintain contact, but work on setting boundaries.

Do you have a meatspace or phonespace friend you can rehearse these conversations with? Rehearsing this sort of stuff can make it much easier to do when it comes time.

What sj said. Where they're railroading you is in assuming that living at home is the only way to continue to be a part of the family. This is clearly not the case.

Do you have a meatspace or phonespace friend you can rehearse these conversations with? Rehearsing this sort of stuff can make it much easier to do when it comes time.

I do. That's a good idea, thanks.

What sj said. Where they're railroading you is in assuming that living at home is the only way to continue to be a part of the family. This is clearly not the case.

My other problem is that for some reason I actually care about my parents' feelings, and I know that to come right out and say, "I don't want to live with you," would be taken as a form of rejection, and they would be hurt.

Yeah, and there's no real way to say "I want to live by myself" instead of "I don't want to live with you" that wouldn't very likely be steered toward that very comment. You are a good son for caring about this, though. More than a few in your situation would cease to care for the sake of having the discussion over with.

I know that to come right out and say, "I don't want to live with you," would be taken as a form of rejection, and they would be hurt.

There's a conversation of boundaries started by Teppy upthread -- I think you have to decide what's more important here, and what's yours to work around -- your feelings or theirs.

If you don't want to tell them you won't live with them, you take the pain upon yourself. It's a choice you can make.

I don't know, maybe I'm being wishy washy by actually wanting to be a part of my family but still retaining some semblance of independence.

That's not being wishy washy, that's setting boundaries. Healthy, good boundaries.

If you wanted to move back with your parents and have a more traditional Indian family relationship, then great. But, from what you've said, that isn't what you want. That's great, too. But, it's going to take a lot of work to train your family who expects otherwise.

I live about 600 miles from my parents. I talk to my mom a couple of times per month (more if its needed, but it rarely is); I visit 2 times per year (more lately but that's because of my dad's health). I love my parents and my siblings, and I'm still part of the family, but I'm def. independent.

Granted, it's much easier for me because my parents don't expect me to live at home until I get married.