Life is hard, P-C, but you are doing fine. Really. This is a very difficult situation even if everyone is doing exactly the right thing, and that never happens.

Doesn't your curent lease go through November? Why is all this happening around the nexus of August?

It sounds like the best solution is to get a job. Not the job, not even a good job, necessarily, but a job that you can get some income from and that you can use as a bit of a shied from your parents. Even if it's a job they don't think you should have because you should just live at home and/or get your PhD or whatever notions they want to throw at you to solve what they perceive to be yoru problems, it's something that you can say you have made a commitment to, that you can't just leave. For that matter, volunteer somewhere if you have to. Just to give yourself something concrete to hold on to when your folks start in on you.

((((P-C))))

A few thoughts. You may want to skip the rest of this post for now and read it later.

he reminded me that everyone ever sees their family

Bull. I haven't seen anyone in my immediate family since June 1993. In fact, other than the cousin who invited himself to our place one afternoon in November -- 1994 or 1995, I forget which -- while he was doing training about 2 hours away, that's the last time I saw any blood relative.

Someone better me a job RIGHT NOW.

I know it's a stopgap, keep-from-draining-the-bank-account suggestion and not a long-term, use-the-degree idea, but now would be a good time to get a part-time job in a student hangout. You're in a Major College Town, correct? A restaurant-manager friend in Chapel Hill once told me that early fall was the most difficult time for him. The students were back, so business was up to school-year levels -- but they still had money from the summer jobs, so they didn't look for jobs there until about October.

And asked me if I still wanted to be in the family.

Anyone who'd put that kind of guilt trip on you deserves a brutally blunt answer of the kind they don't want to hear.

Register with a temp agency -- just start bringing some money in. You can totally do this!

I think I already said this, but what David and sumi said. Register with a temp agency, or get a retail job, or take some nothing office job in Ann Arbor just to have something on your resume, or void your lease and move to a city where you might want to live and do one of the above once you get there.

You do not need to solve your entire life at age 24, although I also believed that at the time.

P-C, do you know any professors who might be able to give you a line on short-term local work in or near your field?

Happiest of Birthdays, vw!!! Good luck with the roomate shopping.

Thank you everyone for all the compliments to me and Teacup Guy. My head is so big right now.

Yep! Come to Seattle, I'll cart you out to the clubs.

Yay! Seattle is high on the list of places Teacup guy and I want to visit. And maybe you can convince him to wear eyeliner to the club, because I couldn't.

{{{P-C}}} I agree with the others who have said you really need to stand up for yourself on this one. That is so far over the line I'm not sure the line can even be seen from there.

Awww, P-C, I'm sorry. You need to go to a temp agency and just get some income even it's not career related for right now.

Also, this. Showing your parents you are working toward being able to take care of the money issue may help a bit. Best of luck.

{{{P-C}}} Everyone is wise.

Definitly look into a temp agency, you're smart, have computer skills, can type, so you're perfect for some kind of temp office job. Let them know you'll take anything (pretty much) and then do it.

Plus you never know where something will lead, you might end up meeting someone, who has connections in science or writing.

Call it networking when you talk to your parents.

Wait - there's no "leave everything as it was yesterday" option, with your lease expiring in November?

My lease doesn't expire in November; I renewed it for this coming year back in November. Rental season in Ann Arbor starts early. My renewed lease starts in a couple weeks, and that's the one I can't get out of unless I void it before it starts.

Bull. I haven't seen anyone in my immediate family since June 1993.

I know there are people who cut themselves off from their families. That's not the way Indian culture works. I don't know, maybe I'm being wishy washy by actually wanting to be a part of my family but still retaining some semblance of independence.

P-C, do you know any professors who might be able to give you a line on short-term local work in or near your field?

I'm going to see if anyone needs a tech, now that Plan B needs to be put into effect, apparently.

Call it networking when you talk to your parents.

OR tell your folks they get to know anything about your life again when they can respect it is your life and then stop taking their calls!

I know there are people who cut themselves off from their families. That's not the way Indian culture works. I don't know, maybe I'm being wishy washy by actually wanting to be a part of my family but still retaining some semblance of independence.

I don't think that is wishy washy. It sounds like a trip home soon might be a good idea, but wanting to see your family and be a part of that family, does not require you move home.

That's not the way Indian culture works. I don't know, maybe I'm being wishy washy by actually wanting to be a part of my family but still retaining some semblance of independence.

My suggestion?

"Mom, Dad, I'd love to spend time with you. The Nth week of X month would work for me.... No, sorry, two weeks at the beginning of August doesn't work, since I'm hoping to have some job interviews then."

Maintain contact, but work on setting boundaries.

Do you have a meatspace or phonespace friend you can rehearse these conversations with? Rehearsing this sort of stuff can make it much easier to do when it comes time.