Mixed relationships of gamer guy vs. non-gamer girl are tricky, because too many times the girl has the hidden agenda of "I'll get him to stop wasting time on that idiotic hobby and those pathetic friends and spend the time with me."

See, I'd dig a gamer guy, because I'd *know* that he wouldn't always be hanging about my place, bothering me. I think I need less couple-y-schmoop-time than most human beings.

I am so with you, Steph.

Go to a game store, find a group that looks appealing, sit down nearby, watch for a bit while maintaining a look of interest, then ask, "How do you play this?"

Heh. When I go to pick up my comic books next week, I'll be sure to find out when the gamers tend to meet.

I'd *know* that he wouldn't always be hanging about my place, bothering me. I think I need less couple-y-schmoop-time than most human beings.

Oh, hell yes. I know some couples whose social lives overlap 100%. If that works for them, great. I'd go completely 'round the bend in less than a fortnight.

I don't actually get why it's any worse than Guy's Poker Night...but of course I know wives who object to that also.

I know wives who object to that also.

That drives me crazy. My mom told me that the wife of one of my stepdad's friends asked her why she "let" my stepdad go on so many hunting trips with his buddies.

I don't actually get why it's any worse than Guy's Poker Night

Because poker is manly. Playing with toy soldiers is childish. Of course, telling that to the oodles of historical battles re-enactors and their fortunes in perfectly detailed Napoleonic or Civil War miniatures would get you laughed at.

I feel like I should start a gamer dating service--all these lovely girls who would appreciate a sweet geek of their very own.

why she "let" my stepdad go

"Because he's a grown man with his own interests, and I'm a grown woman who's not so insecure that I need to have him tied to my apron strings every minute of the day."

After my divorce, I loved getting out from my Ex's annoying thumb so much that I thought it would be really hard to give that freedom up. (Popcorn for dinner? Sure! Watch old movies until 3 am if I feel like it? Sure!) One of the signs that the WBB was the one for me was that hanging out with him was more fun than hanging out without him 90% of the time. I still have plenty of fun on my own, but having him be home when I am there does not feel like an imposition or a distraction*, which it would with, oh, anyone else on Earth.

• Except this weekend when I was reading HP6.

One of the signs that the WBB was the one for me was that hanging out with him was more fun than hanging out without him 90% of the time.

Ditto. I still go and do stuff by myself, but it's occasional - not all evening a couple times a week.

Also, having kids makes a big difference in this equation. You need your other partner there participating. You also need to make time for the marriage, and that requires a commitment.

"Because he's a grown man with his own interests, and I'm a grown woman who's not so insecure that I need to have him tied to my apron strings every minute of the day."

With a side order of "Because if he didn't get out of the house on a regular basis, I'd be arrested for murder."