I think it's just been quiet.

I, for once, have had work to do. Tedious and boring work, but it keeps me off the internets.

Some of us are in Boxed Set talking about Cylon sex.

Oh, my! How am I missing that?

Also, I forgot to say this in my last post. I got my grade back for my summer session class that I almost withdrew from.

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A

I'm a big fat dork.

Whoot!

This jumped my GPA up to 3.86, which makes me all excited.

Well done, vw!

I am never going to believe you when you say you've blown a final again.

I still think I didn't do well on the final. And, she must have been very generous with partial credit. But, I did do well on the papers and quizzes, so that must have evened it out.

I'm about to leave work, go see my therapist, decide if I want to admit I haven't done something or just talk about other things to cover. There's a lot to talk about and really the thing I haven't done is tiny.

Then I'm going to go dancing tonight. PLUS I'm meeting a co worker there, she's never been dancing so this will be fun. Plus me being social!!

Teppy, I've dealt with the boundary issues before. Mom and I are really close and sometimes she asks me things I really don't want to answer (especially dealing with my money situation). For awhile I'd stammer through on the phone and hem and haw before I could say that I'd rather not discuss it. I think she was hurt at first, but she's been really good about figuring out if I don't want to discuss something.

I can't wait to see pictures from Toto's party!

It's a balancing game, to take care of how you deal with people and how you deal with yourself.

Truest of true things, ita. And I get the 'I did this for a specific reaction' kind of thing.

And Steph, your description of your dad's behavior made me literally groan in recognition. Just like Sail, I've btdt. So. very. draining.

And I did the same in my situation that she did in hers...changing behaviors in a way that respected the other person as a grown up who could and can take care of themselves. What helped it to not be hard for me is realizing that if I DID do everything 'perfect' (take every phonecall, do an entertaining tap dance, make 'em laugh, make 'em laugh, etc.), the lonely/dysfunction/need would still be there. It's not something that can be fixed from outside the sufferer.

Believe me, if there WAS a way to fix that kind of thing, I'd a) have had a way happier childhood, b) be richer than Oprah right now.

Boundaries are our right and responsibility. Having habits around them that we don't like anymore? Not as hard at it might seem to change.

I'm doing some Rational Emotive Therapy techniques with a coaching client and found "How to refuse to make yourself miserable about anything, yes anything!" by Albert Ellis, the father of RET while waiting at B&N for HBP. It's a quick read with lots of good exercises. If books are at all supportive to you, I recommend this one.

Assorted ~ma and punctuation to them that needs it. All I need today is an air-conditioner. Or a freezer, preferably.

"How to refuse to make yourself miserable about anything, yes anything!" by Albert Ellis

Cool. I wrote the cover copy for the updated version of that, but I don't think the new edition is out yet.