Hm. So I was in Macy's and I saw this shirt that would look perfect on Tim. For those of you not following, Tim cannot dress himself. Which is a shame, because when he stumbles into something the right color and cut, he's SO SEXAY.

But i didn't pick it up because I would have to call and ask his size and then he would have been all, "that's weird, you're not my mother, weirdo."

That's my latest story about Tim.

Isn't that when you call his assistant?

I talked to him yesterday and he doesn't know, either.

But John dresses really well, so he should take Tim shopping.

Highly recommend it.

I talked to him yesterday and he doesn't know, either.

I think either he should get a bonus for not telling you what he obviously knows, or have his pay docked for not knowing it.

I think maybe Tim draws the line at his mailbox, and that his inseam would be going too far.

Oh, there are so many ways to surreptitiously measure an inseam. It's the neck measurement that's tricky.

Oh, there are so many ways to surreptitiously measure an inseam.

Name three.

Oh, there are so many ways to surreptitiously measure an inseam.

How does one do this? I mean, how can you get your hand very near a man's crotch surreptitiously?

You just have to register what his crotch is level with. And his ankle or however low you want the pants to fall. It's not tricky like a circumference measurement.

how can you get your hand very near a man's crotch surreptitiously?

Well, I'm veering off topic, but I said that the measuring was surreptitious. In fact, I think there are more ways for you to get your hand near a man's crotch without him thinking of inseam measurements than there are that'll have him thinking of tailoring.

But that's not really what I was suggesting.

I said that the measuring was surreptitious

Good point.

Can I start rumors that Allyson is copping feels of Tim, now?