OMG, I just got an IM from the bride. There's a problem with the reception space, it won't accommodate the number of guests, and she says that she can't trim the guest list. Will my hell never end! (I considered volunteering not to come, but I thought that would be mean)

Vortex, it's apparent this woman is making her own problems WORSE by not making important decisions. It sounds pretty simple to me: Either find a new reception location or trim the guest list.

I've decided that when/if I get married, I will pick a color from their catalogue and tell my bridesmaids that they can wear any dress that comes in that color.

That's what I did, except with Jessica McClintock. They all ended up choosing the same dress, which was funny.

Yargh. All this wedding talk is only reminding me of all the crap I need to get done. Like send invitations to the bachelorette party which include a fun and entertaining way to say "hire a stripper and both the bride and I will kill you."

Also fittings. And hairdresser and makeup tests. And finding out when the hell we can have one of the two showers when I actually can attend it. Ack. And shoes. I need shoes.

t cries

I'm reading (well, skimming, 'cause I really shouldn't be playing online at all today) the weddings, bridesmaids, showers and maids-of-honor stories, and they're so different than what I'm used to in Israel.

Nobody here expects you to pay for anything in a wedding that's not yours, other than your own arrival (and sometimes there are arranged buses for a large group of people who live relatively far away) and a present. That's it. There are no bridesmaids, no dresses to match each other, no showers (definitely no games!), no presents to the people who had to buy the dress the bride wanted - you get the drift. There are usually a few people who spend the day with either the bride or the groom (in strict orthodox couples, the bride and groom don't meet each other for the whole week before the wedding, too), to run errands, take care of last-minute stuff, try to relax the nervous people as much as possible, stuff like that. But that's pretty much it. There are quite often some "going out" stuff on a night before the wedding, like a bachlor/ette party, but mostly that's nothing formal, more like the things JZ and others described here. Definitely no games.

For orthodox couples, there are often gatherings on the week after the wedding, called "sheva brakhot" ("sheva" = 7, "brakhot" = blessings), which are meals that have to have at least 10 men (= "minyan"), in which 7 blessings are said aloud, for the new couple. It can be as unformal as anybody wants it to be. The last one I threw, I had falafel (and all the assorted stuff) on tables and we just sat and talked and laughed. And nobody has to do it - if nobody volunteers, there just isn't any, and that's fine, too.

So, not just the foods are very different.

It sounds pretty simple to me: Either find a new reception location or trim the guest list.

you'd think, wouldn't you? But she says that she can't trim it, they both have large families. They are on a budget, so they can't really switch locations without incurring significant cost, even if they could find somewhere else 3 months before the wedding.

Astronauts should not have swords. Not with fabric pressure suits.

makeup tests

What on earth is a makeup test?

Like send invitations to the bachelorette party which include a fun and entertaining way to say "hire a stripper and both the bride and I will kill you."

How about "Hire a stripper and both the bride and I will kill you in a fun and entertaining way. For us. For you, maybe not so fun."

Astronauts should not have swords. Not with fabric pressure suits.

That's why the exterior of the suits should be chainmail. But it'd be some high-tech chainmail, made of titanium or carbon fiber.

edit for clarity....

There's a problem with the reception space, it won't accommodate the number of guests, and she says that she can't trim the guest list.

Is she taking into account the fact that not everyone will go? Just a thought.